The Love I Saw in You Was Just a Mirage
The great poet and singer Smokey Robinson wrote a beautiful song called, “The Love I Saw in You Was Just a Mirage.” When we fall in love with someone, we often see perfection. Our heart hopes that somehow this will be the person who heals all of our wounds, straightens our paths, makes us laugh, knows how to do just about everything, and adores us right back. So what happens? How do we get to a spot like Smokey does where we are accusing our formerly perfect love of sabotaging our life? What really was a mirage was the perfection we saw. All of us are flawed and imperfect creatures in various stages of growth. No one can possible heal our wounds and straighten our paths. Those challenges are for us alone. Without those challenges, we would not grow to our full capabilities. We discover that this “perfect person” snores, forgets important stuff once in a while, doesn’t always want to watch the same movie as us, has friends, jobs and family that give them pleasure and happiness that may siphon attention away from us, has opinions of their own, may not vote for the same candidate we vote for, and shrinks our favorite shirt once in a while. And we have our own long list of imperfections that is every bit as grating.
Serious disagreements often occur when two bad moods collide. If I am able to maintain my peace of mind when my partner is acting unskillfully and may be temporarily off-balance, arguments can usually be avoided. If my partner can maintain her peace of mind when I am in a dark mood, peace can usually be restored rather quickly. But when bad moods collide, even our dogs are wise enough to head for the far corners of the house. That’s why it is essential to practice mindfulness every day and to set a strong intention each morning to maintain our emotional balance and equilibrium at all times and in all settings.
This essay is from my book, The New power of Positive Thinking, available from Amazon and from my Etsy shop at JoeGormanAuthor.