Why I’m Starting Again, and Why You Should Too.

I have a feeling that this is going to hurt. I can still feel scars from the last time. People often act as if failure is ‘a blessing in disguise’ — but I think that it’s important to respect how bad things can get, in the case of failure. I do know how bad things can get, though.. I am very much aware of the opportunity costs of starting again.

However, despite my best efforts- and despite advice from trusted friends, I am compelled to start again. Even after 2 years of outright struggle to grow a vision- and a spectacular grand failure finale, I cannot walk away. After all that it’s cost me in time, money and effort.. I have to start again.

So… why am I starting again ?

I mean, c’mon- I’m a reasonably smart person. I consider myself logical for the most part. Why would I ever do something as potentially catastrophic as starting again ? Especially considering the fact that I know the risks of starting again! Why would I subject myself to such trauma?

It can’t be for the money. I’ve learned the hard way that money is spent more often than it’s earned with these type of things. Besides, everyone knows that starting things isn’t how you get rich- joining things is.

It can’t be for the notoriety or fame, either. I’ve seen what it’s like to become a titan in business, only to fall from grace. I have no aspirations of becoming the next Theranos.

It’s certainly not being done for fun. The last thing I started took me to a very dark, lonely, suicide inspiring place called rock bottom; ever been there ? Starting something can be fun, but the journey is a long, and potentially perilous one.

OK THEN… if not for money, fame, or even fun… why start again ?

Because unfortunately enough for me.. I think this is what I am meant to do with my life.

Because for the most part; the only person who’s interested in giving me an opportunity to succeed happens to be me.

Because I’ve never been very good at doing other people’s things. So far, I have failed to find another person’s thing so compelling that I would willfully spend upwards of 50 percent of my waking life force helping them build it.

Because I am afraid of dying having not lived up to my own expectations for myself. More so, because I’m afraid of dying without having at least attempted to live up those aforementioned expectations.

Because if I don’t do it nobody else will. Or worse yet, somebody will do it.. and they’ll do a shitty job.

Because this is the only thing I know. I’ve been doing these type of things since high school, and I can’t imagine living a life not working on this thing.

Because this is the only thing that I can think of that fully leverages my talents, my interests and the technologies available today.

Because maybe I’ve learned something from the last thing I started. Perhaps I’ve gotten better at things, and will be able to seize opportunities that I didn’t notice before.

Because even despite the risks associated with starting again- the lessons and experiences gathered along the way ensure that it will be worth it. Even if failure is the most likely outcome.

I’m starting again because I’ve faced the tough challenges before, and am no longer afraid of failure. I’ve taken the beatings, and fortunately I’ve survived.

Because despite news media’s best efforts to convince me otherwise, I think things are pretty good right now, and getting better. I see opportunity everywhere I look.

I’m starting again because I have a responsibility, an obligation- to my peers, and to the generations to come. It’s my job to prove as example, that we are not insignificant, we are not statistics, and that our lives do matter. I’m starting again to show young people the world over that they are everything that they choose to become.

I’m starting again for everyone who never got started. For everyone who is still afraid to start. For all of the people who just started something, and need some support along the way.

Alright then… what am I starting?

I’m starting a software company… again. Let’s hope that we don’t fail…again.

I’m starting because it’s not about what we say, it’s about what we mean. I’m starting because we’ve only scratched the surface of what 3D computer graphics can do.
At the end of the day… it’s really quite simple. I’m starting because life is too short to not start. And start again and again and again.

// Thanks for reading. What would you like to #startagain ? Share this article and tweet @josephrdouglas to keep the conversation going.