An Atheist’s Unaesthetic Appeal

Joel Joseph
Aug 22, 2017 · 2 min read

The other day while on a sortie, I met a guy or rather, he came looking for me. He struck up a conversation with me while waiting for the train and frankly I was quite surprised because strangers paid me any heed only when they wanted to know the directions for their destinations.

During the course of his monologue I realised that he was a pracharak, although not one of the RSS dudes. This guy had an altogether different motive. He was looking for common minded folks who were more concerned with the propagation of atheism rather than taking a dump.

Here is a sample of what I endured. And I quote (at-least the gist of it)

DEMANDS OF ATHEISTS

Identity: My fellow countrymen and their women, we are not Hindus or Muslims or Christians or Sikhs or other small and inconsequential religious. We are atheists. We want it to be written so in our Passports and Voter ID cards. We want demand a ‘right to rejection of all religions’.

Reservation: Every minority community gets reservation in India then why are atheists, the smallest minority not given any? The government should look into it urgently so that we can vote en bloc for it in the next election. We also want reserved seats for us in the nest Lok sabha elections.

Marriage: While a Christian gets to marry in an elegant church and a Hindu in an exquisite temple atheists are forced to marry in the registrar’s office.We are humans too. We want the baraats, and kisses, and gowns, and not to forget the opulence too rather than a morose registrar and a dingy registration office.

Exclusive place for worship: Why can’t the government provide us a part of the religious land that it doles out to other religious enterprises. We would like to build ‘atheist exclusive libraries’ for the faithless to keep our unwavering commitment to (non)belief true.

Tax exemption: Although we preach equality, we practice the principle of ‘first among equals’. The chosen few like me should be given tax exemption just like every ‘religious PVT LTD.’ is allowed to enjoy.

Holidays: We demand a holiday on January 25 since I promised my girlfriend that I would dedicate atheism to her and honour her by demanding an holiday on January 25, and I leave it to the discretion of the PM to declare January 25 as ‘Good Governance Day’ since me and my fellow luminaries have not yet decided upon the japes to be performed on that day.

)
Joel Joseph
Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade