No, People Do Not Buy Your ‘Why’. They Buy THEIR ‘Why’.
One of the most well-travelled, most frequently circulated business management quotes of the 21st century came from the mouth of Simon Sinek. It goes:
“People don’t buy what you do. They buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe.”
Sinek wrote a whole book about this (2011’s Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action) and it probably sold millions of copies. Various YouTube videos about this quote (by him and by his legions of admirers) have amassed tens of millions of views, and this quote still resurfaces on my LinkedIn feed at least once a month.
Which is most unfortunate, because the quote is context-dependent at best and downright incorrect at worst.
Before I explain, let’s get this out of the way: I am an average middle-aged, middle class, workaday schmuck who unquestionably has far less fame, fortune, and followers than Mr. Sinek. He writes bestselling books and speaks at important conferences around the globe, while the best I can manage to do is make an occasional shitpost on Medium that hardly anyone reads. But all of that is inconsequential right now, because I’m still correct.
Sinek’s central contention (my paraphrasing) is that if you want people to ‘buy’ what you’re doing (in either the literal or metaphorical sense of the word), you need artfully convey to them why you’re doing it. In other words, in order for people to care about your organization or buy your stuff or your ideas, they’ll need to understand what’s driving you to do it. Only then will they open their hearts, minds, or wallets.
Now, this is unquestionably true in some contexts, some of the time (people are attracted to people and companies with a sense of purpose, after all). It’s just not true very often. As evidence, consider 10 of the last things I bought, and exactly how heavily the company’s ‘why’ factored into my decision:
Gas at Petro Canada: I do not know their why, and do not care; I just needed gas.
A new iPhone from Apple: I mostly hate Apple’s ‘why’ (and several other things about Apple) but bought it anyway because my old one broke and I need a phone because it’s 2022 and my wife will be unhappy with me if I don’t reply to her texts about picking up our kids and stuff.
Royal Gala Apples from Walmart: I don’t know the brand of apples or where they came from, and I don’t care as long as they’re crisp and delicious. I don’t really care about Walmart’s ‘why’ either.
A Picture Frame: Please. You think I have time to care about the ‘why’ of whoever put this cheap picture frame together? No disrespect Michael’s but your ‘why’ is unimportant to me.
A Membership to the Conservative Party of Canada: I actually do care about this ‘why’, and that’s why I bought it.
Flowers for my daughter: Don’t know, don’t care (I just needed to not be upstaged by all the other recital parents who bought flowers for their kids).
Granola Bars: Don’t know, don’t care.
A Dishwasher: Don’t know, don’t care.
Window Caulking: Ditto
A Car Wash from Shell: I kind of know their why (extracting fossil fuels AND apparently wasting fresh water just so my 2016 Corolla can look less dirty) and I still don’t care.
You get the point, and the point is this: 99% of the time, our purchases are not about someone else’s ‘why’. They’re about ours. What’s in it for me. And this is true whether you like it or not. The preponderance of evidence is on my side. I mean, yes, it’s entirely possible that you may have reviewed my shopping habits and concluded that I’m just a dastardly or unprincipled consumer — a mere exception to the rule — but you’re just kidding yourself. Go back through your last twenty purchases and tell me how often you made that decision based on the company’s ‘why’.
Yeah, that’s what I thought. I rest my case.
Now, to be fair, I’m being purposely tough on Sinek (which I’m sure he will never know or care about); his point is much bigger than the microcosm I’ve chosen to focus on. For starters, marketers and psychologists would contend that — often — we buy other people’s ‘why’ subconsciously (for instance, maybe I care a lot more about Apple’s ‘why’ than I’m willing to admit or am even aware of). You could also make an argument that Apple is so successful precisely because they have such a clear ‘why’; that their ‘why’ is what attracted so many skilled and imaginative software engineers to their door in the first place. And you’d probably be right.
In conclusion, finding your ‘why’ is extremely important in life and in business. Maybe even the most important thing. It’s just not usually very reliable as a selling tool, and — in most cases — the masses (including most of your customers) don’t care about it. It’s their ‘why’ that matters, not yours.
