President to Auction Designation of Drone Bombing Targets

Feeling the heat to increase federal revenues and decrease the deficit, President Obama is considering the unprecedented act of auctioning off the right to pick the next drone bombing target.

Democrats have long since wanted to keep military costs down while republicans want a stronger Middle East presence. This could be a win-win!

Beltway insiders have told this publication that in this final year of the president’s presidency, Obama wants to build a legacy of the first free market president.

Many, many people have expressed an interest in determining who should be bombed. I’m just acting on the will of the people. And who knows? Someone may win a Nobel Peace Prize at the end of the day!

President Obama plans to formally announce his plan at a press conference later this week.

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