Reading through the original article is eye-opening and wonderful in a lot of ways, but reading this comment takes the cake and addresses some really important issues from an objective standpoint. It started REALLY strong. I found myself losing steam on Emma’s post once the projections of all men based on analyzing one boy who you don’t really know became the focus. It becomes hard to navigate through what I might want to analyze in myself to be a better friend and husband when I’m lumped into a category of brainwashed neanderthals (which, no doubt, a lot of men can be).
Not even most men understand the inner workings of what it means to be a man because we all have to carve our own definitions and find out how to work with what we got. If you’re serious about dating someone and not using them as a temporary outlet to feel better in one way or another (which is totes awesome when both parties feel that way) it’s worth meeting their families and seeing the way they interact with each other, how they were raised — it tells us a lot about why people behave the way they do and if it’s worth getting closer to them. I learned this by living with friends’ families while I was homeless with REALLY good connections. Haha. I had my judgements before seeing the chaos every family goes through and it made me less quick to make assumptions. And of course just more appreciative in general.
But jeez, there are not enough people like A. McEnny and there are not enough fathers like hers. That whole comment was beautiful to read and makes me wish I knew ya. More than the article and any of the comments I’ve read so far, as personal as it was, it really seems like you care about how people feel and heal and want to offer what’s worked for you. That’s what I picked up.
So fuckin bravo. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences, to both A. and Emma and everybody else whose comments I’ll read next!