I Am the Solutions Guy

I come up with solutions. I am a solutions man. Sure, sometimes I just listen and nod my head and am emphatic and say, Hmm, yes, that is horrible. But other times people need solutions and I’m your guy. I have so many good solutions to problems, thorny issues, questions. People ask me for solutions everywhere. I’m in the store: should I get green or black olives? a guy asks. Black, I say. Should I marry my boyfriend? a woman asks. Sure, why not, I say. Should I quit my job and go teach in South America? Yeah, go for it. I just hang around the grocery store, answering questions. I’m in the produce section near the bananas. Come find me.