It’s Election Day in Alabama

Today is the day when the people of Alabama choose a replacement for former Senator Jeff Sessions.

After weeks of obnoxious campaign ads and banal candidate forums, the radio airwaves are now buzzing with anticipation for the eventual results. People of all stripes are calling in vote tallies from their respective polling places as well as last minute pitches for their preferred candidate.

Who will it be? The notorious twice former AL Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore? Interim Senator Luther Strange? North AL Congressman Mo Brooks? State Senator Trip Pittman? Maybe even Alabama Christian Coalition President Randy Brinson?

It’s a difficult decision, at least for those who take their civic duty and inconsequential differences between the candidates seriously.

I, however, do not take my civic duty or the candidates seriously. Or, rather, I take them seriously in an unusual way.

Whenever I hear the government suggesting I must engage in a civic duty, I have the sneaking suspicion they are either trying to steal something from me or conscript me in some heist. They want me to excuse their inevitably terrible actions once in office. They want me to pre-clear their future iniquities. They want me to give them my consent before they even get going with their criminality.

That’s how politicians so often pull off their perfect crimes — not by being brilliant conspirators operating in the shadows, but by making everyone who votes for them complicit in their crimes.

When there are so many fingerprints on the gun, how could you possibly convict just one person?

That said, I’m not going to put my fingerprints on any of the candidates. But I do plan on enjoying the spectacle no matter who wins the race. Why not have some fun?

In the end, the next US Senator from the great state of Alabama will hardly change the effect the federal government has on my life. I will continue to be taxed for wars and other programs I do not support as well as regulated in almost every aspect of my life no matter who wins.

And for those who say that if I do not vote I cannot complain, well, just watch me complain.

Excuse me, pardon me, but my freedom to believe what I wish and speak as I wish is much more important than any ‘duty’ to vote for someone to steal my and others’ freedoms in the name of self-government.

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