YOUR BARE FOOT ON FRESH CLEAN SHEETS. THAT WONDERFUL SOFT FEELING. LIKE FALLING ASLEEP UNDER A TREE WITH A BREEZE. I HAVE A SMILE ON MY FACE AND I AM NOT SURE WHY. I SUPPOSE I SHOULDN’T QUESTION IT. AND I SHAN’T.

WHEN YOU’RE FEELING PLEASANT GO AHEAD AND FEEL THAT. IT WON’T HURT YOU. IT WOULDN’T LESSEN ANYTHING YOU FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT. IT COULD END SOON ENOUGH. AND WILL YOU HAVE ANY MEMORY OF A BRIEF RESPITE OF PLEASANT? PROBABLY NOT.

FOR EXAMPLE — I HAVE A BRAIN DRAIN OF A JOB. AND WHEN IT’S PARTICULARLY SLOW — I THINK. NOT ALWAYS ARE THEY NICE CLEAN THOUGHTS. BUT THEN ALSO. I THINK OF MY MOTHER. A THOUGHT OCCURRED TO ME THAT WILL I FEEL THIS SAME WAY IN 30 YEARS? WILL I MISS MY MOTHER SO MUCH THEN TOO? BUT I THOUGHT OF HER YESTERDAY AND TODAY. I SAW A PICTURE OF ONE OF HER DOGS AND IT PUNCHED ME IN THE GUT. THERE IS LOLA ON THE COUCH AT MY MOTHER’S HOUSE. WHICH IS NO LONGER MY MOTHER’S HOUSE. WHICH IS NO LONGER MY MOTHER’S COUCH. WHICH IS NO LONGER MY MOTHER’S DOG. UNLESS YOU BUILD A HOUSE HOW DO YOU SHOW THAT YOU LIVED HERE? MEMORIES I SUPPOSE. GRAPPLING WITH THAT.

I SEE MY MOTHER IN MY GREAT NIECE. SHE IS ONLY TWO AND REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF HER. EVER SINCE SHE WAS A BABY. GENETICS ARE MEMORIES. OF GOOD AND BAD. SOMETHING IN HER. A MISCHIEVOUS WARMTH. THESE THOUGHTS ARE CONNECTED I SWEAR. MY SISTER TOOK A PICTURE OF MY NIECE AND SHE WAS IN A DEVIL COSTUME AND IT WAS ADORABLE. HALLOWEEN IS A STRANGE THING WE STILL DO HERE IN THIS COUNTRY FULL OF FEAR — WE LET OUT CHILDREN DRESS UP LIKE WEIRDOS AND KNOCK ON PEOPLE’S DOORS DEMANDING CANDY. I KNOW THAT’S A HACK COMEDIAN ANGLE BUT IT’S STILL STRANGE. AND SINCE MOVING TO OKLAHOMA CITY AND LIVING IN A NEIGHBORHOOD I’VE DISCOVERED A LOVE FOR GIVING CANDY TO CHILDREN. WHICH IS ALSO A STRANGE THING TO SAY. IT’S CUTE. AND CUTE AND JOY AND SILLINESS AND AN AUTUMN EVENING MIGHT JUST BE PERFECT.

I SENT OUT A MESSAGE TO PEOPLE ON TWITTER LAST NIGHT — I FOLLOW PEOPLE IN OKLAHOMA CITY WHOM I WOULD CONSIDER FRIENDS BUT WE’VE ONLY COMMUNICATED THROUGH TWITTER AND I SAID WE SHOULD HANG GET DINNER OR SOMETHING. WE SHALL SEE. IT’S HARD TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. IT’S STILL IMPORTANT TO DO SO THOUGH. THERE’S AN EXCITEMENT TO MEETING PEOPLE. I LIKE HAVING CONVERSATIONS.

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS I MISS MY MOM SO I CAN TELL HER I HAD A GOOD DAY. I WOULDN’T EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY. BUT INSTEAD I GET TO TELL YOU AND THAT’S PRETTY GOOD TOO.

JOHN WILKES BOOTH LOOKED LIKE A HIPSTER AND THAT IS THE GREATEST EVIDENCE I CAN THINK OF WITH WHICH WE CAN DISMISS THE HIPSTER.

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