I Never Saw Anything Like This Headline and You Won’t Believe What He Does Next!

4 Ways I Can Analog Stop Your Day Like Facebook Click Bait

Facebook has got to be the worst tab you could ever open during the day if you’re trying to do shit. I thought to myself; what can I do to my friends and colleagues that would interrupt their day as bad as Facebook ad trolls?

Here’s 4 Ways I Just Came Up With That Could Totally Interrupt Your Day Like Facebook Click Bait:

1. All of a sudden, you’re sitting still, looking forward at your computer. Then, you feel an itch on your ear. You turn around, and there I am holding a fucking BUNNY RABBIT with it’s WHISKERS ON YOUR EAR. It’s too cute, omg, you just can’t.
   Interruption time: 3 — 6 minutes
2. So you’re on a conference call with “the team.” Then “BING!”… I dial in and say “hey guys, is (insert your name) there? I can’t find the bong and we have these super dank kush nuggz to blaze at the crib!” Then I hang up.
   Interruption time: 1–2 minutes followed by 35 — 40 minutes / job review
3. It’s like, 2:30pm. You just got back from lunch at Chipotle ‘cuz burrito bowls is paleo, bruh. You’re fading and got 14 new emails in the Outlook. Out of NOWHERE, I come over to your desk and totally doublehand mash your whole keyboard! All your emails get drafted, archived and deleted and it’s super hard to find them all! And I’m out!
   Interruption time: 8 — 12 minutes
4. I’d roll up in a hoodie and just start rapping at your desk side. I’ll start rapping about what you’re currently working on right next to you super loud. I’d come up with choruses and keep calling you “arbitrary.” Then drop the mic.
   Interruption time: 96 bars, no hooks

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