For an audio version of this go to: http://grindpodcast.com/2018/11/goals-schmoals/
While working on my personal GPS (goals, priorities, strategies) for the upcoming year, I’ve discovered some interesting things about the journey and about the process of renewal that we go through every year.
A yearly renewal is great but it’s also a bit foolish. Why do we only do it once a year? This should be an ongoing process that changes sometimes daily.
I understand the importance of having goals. These are things we strive for; small and big reasons to get up in the morning.
When you have a reason to get up in the morning, you go to bed- Gary Keller
With goals, business plans and all the other stuff we put ourselves through, there is a good chance we are start losing something.
We risk losing our ability to have fun. We risk losing the myriad of curiosity’s that we once had because we have to focus on the goal damn it! If we go in too many directions, we might lose sight of our precious goal.
At times, goals can prevent us from exploring the interesting.
When do you feel the most vibrant in life?
Truly think about this for a second.
At what points in your past have you felt the most excited about things? When have you had the crazy butterflies in your stomach? What were you doing?
Trying something new? Doing something that was terrifying? Spending time with your most important loved ones? Rocking out your jam whatever your jam looks like?
What do I mean by your jam? I mean the thing that you just absolutely love doing! The thing that makes you so happy and joyful that you damn near can’t handle it!
Some of you have heard of the famous book by Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.
This woman interviewed 100 people on their death beds and compiled their top five regrets.
Let’s review them and discuss how that relates to your goals!
1.) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This one has always punched me in the face every single time I read it.
Do you feel you are living someone else’s life right now? Are you pursuing someone else’s goals?
Let’s play the what if game for second!
What if instead of having a goal, you lived a life of pursing the interesting?
What’s the interesting?
It’s anything you find interesting silly!
I don’t mean that we should all become hippy’s aimlessly wandering the world in pursuit of interesting things.
Although there is a piece of me that thinks that would be kind of awesome and would probably provide an interesting story.
There are two significant problems with setting goals the way we normally do.
1.) When we set a goal, it’s about a future time. We all know that we can’t predict the future. We don’t know how things are going to develop? We change. The world changes. Those around us change. All different kinds of things happen. That’s why reevaluating constantly is an extremely important thing to do. Not just once per year.
2.) Our happiness becomes determined on whether we hit a goal or not. It’s our anchor. We forget that AMAZING things are happening right in front of our face along with equally amazing opportunities that we decide not to pursue because of our goal.
This causes some to get confused because you could have the tendency to be pulled in all different directions.
I would challenge that and remind you that with the extremely short time we have on this earth, doing things that bring you joy, laughter, excitement, and pure enjoyment should trump all. Sometimes we just don’t have time for anything else.
Back to the regrets…
2.) I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
Another one that slaps me upside the head. I’m a guy that will work non stop. No problem. When I set out to accomplish something, get out of the way.
But at what cost?
I’ve noticed lately as I look at my last year and start looking ahead at the new year that there were some serious sacrifices I made. I’ve been recently studying the Danish population and how they are the consistently the happiest people on the planet.
How do they do it?
A couple nuggets on how….5 weeks of paid vacation and people rarely work more than 40 hours a week…..RARELY!
Remember, Plan your fun FIRST! Make sure to time block your time off and freaking stick to it. Put your Daddy and Mommy Day’s on there, your hookie days on there, your vacay days on there, those need to go on the calendar FIRST!
Fun, Fun, Fun…..Joy, Joy, Joy! Focus on that…..work second.
It seems counter intuitive, but on your death bed, you won’t regret that. Plus when you prioritize fun first you would be amazed at what kind of opportunities come along when your vibrating at a much higher level versus the low vibration state of burnout.
Trust me on this…..I’ve been down both paths.
3.) I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
Being vulnerable and candid is an art. It’s a tough one. Saying the way you really feel can be a huge challenge for some.
But you don’t have any time to not say what you feel. We all have a ticket to life that can get taken away at any moment. When you are planning, make sure you have a reminder in your calendar, on your journal, or on your mirror to be honest with yourself and with others.
Express your feelings! Be candid, and let it all out. In the end, you will never regret that.
4.) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
We are in worrisome times in an interesting country!
We make getting together with our loved ones and friends an afterthought. We feel like we are connected to them through online versions so we don’t actually have to see them.
Make this a part of your planning and goal sessions! Get together with your peeps, with your tribe. Have parties! Go to parties! Yes, will it feel like work? Of course!
But will it be worth it, without a doubt. Make sure you are getting uncomfortable here. It’s easy to stay in our warm pajamas and sit on FaceBook. It’s hard to travel the strange and treacherous road to your neighbors to have a board game night. Get over it!
5.) I wish I had let myself be happier.
This is a trap I keep allowing myself to set. My wife reminded me again last night that I take things a bit too seriously. She is right. What is there to really worry about in life unless you are hanging by a rope over a cliff and the rope is on fire which never happens.
Figure out a way, EVERYDAY to laugh as much as possible, have fun as much as possible, and just relax a little. When we accomplish doing this, it’s amazing how many interesting opportunities and cool people will be dropped in our path.
You have the power, you have the right, and you have the zest to be happy.
As you are doing your own life planning, don’t forget about you, your loved ones, and your happiness. Plan those things first before ANYTHING else. The other stuff will fall into place.
The curiosities are the spice of life and will help you create an amazing story! You are in charge of that! Get after it!
Stay frosty and grind on!
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