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How to Change

We all have habits that we would like to change. We also have new habits we would love to instill inside of us to become better human beings.

As you know, creating or getting rid of habits is an extremely difficult thing to do. Some of the habits we have are ones that have been with us for years and years and it’s not as easy to completely change them.

Giving where credit belongs, there are some insights I have learned from a Keller Williams event called Coaching Skills Camp, that I would like to share with you about this journey of changing your habits and the difference between what the failure cycle looks like compared to the success cycle.

To change your habits really only takes three steps:

1.) Awareness

It all starts here! We have to first be aware of the habit. Sometimes that’s not as easy as one would think. You might have a habit of saying a certain thing at a certain time and you don’t notice it until someone points it out to you. That’s where the awareness part comes in. Becoming aware of a certain bad habit makes you notice it a whole ton more which gives you way better odds of changing it.

2.) Change Expectations

You really need to focus on changing your expectations surrounding this particular habit. Smoking could be an example here. You might have the expectation that you can’t ever quit because of this reason or that reason. Or that if you quit, you won’t get all your smoke breaks where you get a chance to socialize with your friends and co workers. But it you change your expectations to the fact that if you didn’t take all those smoke breaks, then you would just leave earlier and go get to hang out with your friends. The key here is:

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Dianna Koskoszka

3.) Change your actions

Of course this was coming. You can’t expect to change a habit without actually taking some kind of action. There needs to be a plan. It all starts with being aware, and then changing expectations, but then you move on to taking action on something.

Back to the smoking habit. It could be as easy as setting up an appointment to meet with a doctor about help quitting. That is one simple action. There has to be one action that leads to another, that leads to another. That’s what John Maxwell calls the Big Mo. It’s stands for momentum. One action steam rolls right into the next.

Of course be careful here because it can go the other way too. You might have quit smoking all together and you say, well I’ll just have one here and there. Those actions can steam roll real quick into being a full time smoker again. It’s a slippery slope with habits.


What is the difference between the failure cycle and the success cycle when it comes to changing anything.

Let’s start with the failure cycle.

It all starts with what you make a priority. If you don’t have good skills in setting your priority’s straight, then you are already setting out to fail. Let’s take lead generation in a sales job as an example.

You are a commission only sales person that relies on finding new people to work with in some shape or form.

First step to failure is not making that the number one priority. So what do you do, you procrastinate. You put it off until the afternoon for example because you have more pressing things to handle.

When then along comes the time bandits which start stealing your time away from you. All of a sudden you don’t have any time in the afternoon because they stole it.

This causes negativity because now you haven’t generated any new business so you are all bummed and you are start blaming and making excuses.

This leads you down a very dark path because resistance sets in and you start thinking that lead generation doesn’t work which leads to your business being chaotic.

We have all heard of the proverbial roller coaster business. Once that happens, it leads to you isolating yourself and your business and you have one foot out the door. And the cycle continues.

Now let’s flip this on it’s head and discuss the success cycle quick.

Using the same example of lead generation.

Let’s say you completely agree and understand what your priorities are. You know that lead generation is the number one most important part of your business so you decide to take action and make it happen in the morning.

You start doing that every morning which slowly or quickly starts creating appointments and opportunities which of course leads to freedom.

Freedom from worrying about your business as much. The freedom gives you more positive focus which of course leads to you being more willing to grow your business to a higher level.

How awesome is that?!?

Then you create systems to help and you have full communication with everyone around you about what your priorities are and the success cycle continues.

Changing your habits takes some love and work and it’s a process but focus on the success cycle and not the failure cycle.

It all start with awareness!

You might read this and become aware that you are in the negativity part of the failure cycle or the resistance part.

Get out of your own way and let others help you discover what your priorities should be. That’s why I’m a firm believer in having a coach, an accountability partner, or a team standard to help guide you and keep you in the success cycle vs. the failure cycle.

We all achieve more together so let’s all help each other out in this journey and make great habits and be successful in all aspects of our life.

Grind on!