“bokeh photography of sea” by Vesela Vaclavikova on Unsplash

Quit Making Stuff Up

I find it absolutely amazing that we make up most of our problems and issues.

Most things that happen in our life is something we create to be a thing.

They are only present because you allow them to be present. You decided at some point along the way to allow this and that to cause you heartache and most of the time, they are really not even things to worry about.

Can you even remember what you were worried about 4 months ago?

NOPE!

Some would argue that bad moods happen because of physiological issues which I would agree.

I was in a horrible mood the other day but my diet consisted of a light breakfast, a hearty McDonalds lunch, and a half of a pizza for dinner. Yes, physiologically, I was in distress which I’m sure coupled with my lack of sleep from the 5 day camping trip, helped create my bad mood.

I was having a physical response to my bad health habits.

What’s strange is that I know the contrast.

I understand what it feels like to have a 100% healthy body. Well rested, fully nourished, and mentally ready. So why do we choose the other path at times?

Contrast shows us both sides of the coin. Heightened pleasure happens when you experience heightened pain. I think of the movie Cast Away with Tom Hanks. Can you imagine the feeling he had after being saved? He had a massive amount of contrast.

When you do have the contrast, the question remains on why we can’t stay there. Why can’t you remain living a healthy lifestyle, having a solid mindset, and staying in a homeostatic type of living?

Patterns, programming, social norms, societal pressures, marketing, and social media are the culprits that will completely derail any effort. These are the things that we allow to change our course and let them make the decisions for us.

This is why I envy the strong willed characteristic my son Lennon possesses.

My wife and I can’t talk him into doing anything. He is one of the most strong willed humans I have ever run into. It’s actually quite amazing! I do hope he keeps that quality as we can all use a little more willpower.

Is it all about willpower?

There have been numerous studies that suggest willpower is not on will call. This is coming from The One Thing by Gary Keller. It’s the fact that as the day moves along, our will power becomes weaker and weaker. So when you get home, you can’t fight the ice cream, the beer, or the Big Mac even though you logically know that will actually make things worse.

This is such a paradoxically hard challenge for me along with so many others.

When we logically know the right answer, why do we go down the wrong path?

My view on willpower is a bit conflicting with that of GK. Willpower can also be a choice. It’s a made up concept that willpower is on will call.

My gripe with that is why do some people have massive amounts of willpower and others don’t? It still boils down to a person making some kind of choice to partake in a certain activity or not. And the choice is made to continue doing that activity or not.

Whether your willpower is at full bars or empty, we are all still making the choice. We have to take ownership of that regardless of anything else. Don’t be the victim and blame it on willpower or your lack there of. No one has any time for that. Be the owner of your situation and make the choice to have the willpower to take the appropriate action.

I have the choice! Then I have to live with those choices. There is very rarely anyone to blame for my choices other than myself. Willpower or no willpower.

Some will blame it on the lack of willpower and yes maybe this is true, but they still made the choice, and that is exactly what we have to hang our hat on at the end of the day. Those are things we have to own.

If it’s a program or habit, you need to learn how to hack into that and change it. These are sometimes embedded deep down in your subconscious somewhere so tackling them can be difficult but not impossible.

I’m just wrapping up a good read titled Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza. It’s actually quite fascinating!

The book goes extremely deep so I won’t be able to go into details of course but the main point is that we have the power to change our entire being. Everyone does! We don’t have to make excuses anymore that this is just the way I am and I can’t change.

You can always change! The real question is, are you willing to change.

Let’s be honest here. Most people aren’t.

Most people are cool with the status quo. They don’t want to put in the work it takes to be a different person. They don’t want to exercise their will power muscle and increase it. They would prefer just to stay right where they are.

Now if you are cool with right where you are then of course that’s fine. Most people aren’t cool with where they are though. But it sure is a lot easier to make excuses than to take action.

You can change! You have the willpower, you just have to choose to use it. Remember, we all have the ability to make the right choices. It takes work! Actually, it takes really hard work!

It’s your choice. You can either be a victim of your own demise or a victor of making the hard right over the easy wrong.

Grind on!