The Long Road of Rejection
I have been dealt with multiple blows of rejection lately and my armor has been chipped away!
I consider myself someone who can take rejection fairly well as I have been rejected numerous times in the past! I’m actually quite amazed at how people reject us.
For example, I had a meeting planned yesterday for 4:45pm at my office. At 4:50pm when the person wasn’t there, I sent them a Facebook message inquiring on whether they were coming or not. Their response: “Oh I totally spaced and forgot. Sorry man I can’t make it, with the family. I will reschedule with you later.”
I could have been with my family too! Instead I was waiting for that guy at the office and he did the ultimate no show. Classic right?
Being in sales, I call people on the phone all the time for different kinds of reasons. Some might be soliciting for business, some might be to network, and others might be for recruiting. I’m rejected all day, everyday!
We all have different respect levels and different levels of responsibility when it comes to letting someone down.
Being from MN we have the ultimate passive aggressive people that in a round about way they will let you down gently. On the other hand it’s still quite frequent that we get someone hanging up on us when we thought we were having a great conversation. To me it’s very strange but it’s also admirable.
Sometimes rejecting someone is actually the best thing you can do. Why prolong something that you are going to reject down the road anyway? That’s why learning to take rejection is just as important as giving it.
Rejecting someone fast and smooth is an art. I don’t think being rude is ever the answer. Being able to eloquently ‘reject’ is extremely classy and I look up to the person who can do that. We were just rejected from Gary Keller, the founder of the largest real estate company in the world, Keller Williams. We were trying to get him as a guest on our podcast and his response was incredible:
Good morning Joey! I truly appreciate the invite, but honestly if I say yes to one — then I have to say yes to all. And since I can’t say yes to all — I must say no to all. I appreciate the ask and appreciate your understanding!!!
First of all, major props to even responding to us. He is super busy and has a full life but still takes the time to bust out a rejection email. I respect that!
He also knows his priorities! What a great opportunity to learn from rejection.
In sales we talk about when someone says no it actually means not right now. There is some truth to that but it also is a bit misleading.
Sometimes, if we are soliciting something to someone, they actually might not need those services at that time. That’s cool. It truly is not right now, but maybe later.
There are other times when it could truly be no and never.
It’s an interesting dynamic.
I take all kinds of sales calls and in fact I like returning sales calls even though I know that I’m going to reject them. Why? Because I do think it’s respectful and can provide other opportunities. What do I mean?
Maybe I take a sales call and we have a great conversation. I don’t want or need the product they are selling but the sales person is crushing it! Maybe, I ask them if they are looking for other job opportunities out there as conveniently I’m currently looking to grow my own sales team. You never know where your next hire or partnership is going to come from so you need to remain in tune with those types of opportunities as they really can be everywhere!
Taking and giving the word no is really an art on both sides of that coin.
Being able to bust out what we call “the ask” puts us in a very vulnerable spot because it opens the door to rejection. Once we throw out our pitch to the world, we don’t know what the outcome is going to be and that’s OK. It’s better than not having the pitch out there.
In Amanda Palmer’s book The Art Asking or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help she discusses the fact that we are so scared to ask that it prevents us from encountering people that do in fact, A.) have what you are asking for or B.) need your services.
I’m a firm believer in the fact that most people in the world are willing to help. They just need to be asked.
Yes, there are what I like to call The Crabbies out there. They are the ones that as soon as you ask anything they bust out a slew of profanities and tell you to take a hike. I used to get all worked up over these people until I read the book, The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. One of his agreements that you need to make with yourself is to never take anything personally. How do you know that the person who was crabby and just rudely rejected you didn’t just find out that they have terminal cancer?
That’s exactly why you can’t take anything personally because you will rarely know exactly what’s going on in that person’s life.
Open yourself up to amazing opportunities by opening yourself up to amazing amounts of rejection. It will change your life if you allow this one thing to happen. Rejection is a part of life and one of the best ways to get more yes’s is to also get more no’s. Onward!
For more awesome content, check out our podcast called the Grind!