You Do You

What happens in a world that is as small as ours?

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

For an audio version of this check out: http://grindpodcast.com/2019/02/complaints/

We now have the capability to witness and discover, in real time, people on the other side of the planet; what they ate for breakfast (it looked tastier than yours), what they drive (their car is WAY better than yours), how they live (their house looks clean and AWESOME and the spouse looks SUPER crazy diamond happy), etcetera, etcetera.

Amazing isn’t it?

I have this vast knowledge of what I think happiness looks like. I can see all 7 billion people, smiling in an instant and think, boy look at how happy and adventurous everyone is!

They all have so many cool toys! Everyone looks so happy and fit!

I wonder if any of these people are actually happy? Do they ever fail at life?

I recently had a day that I exclaimed how much of a failure I thought I was.

My real estate biz isn’t where I would like it to be. My podcast sucks! I’ve let fatherhood become a hobby I only attend to every once in a while. I’m not a good husband. I don’t listen well. I’ve been a haphazard leader in the Army. I haven’t saved enough money so my family’s financial foundation is a bit crumbly.

I went on and on while throwing in a couple of F bombs in there.

I gave myself a moment. A moment of vulnerability. True vulnerability. Not the kind that is censored like you see on social media.

I’m talking about the yelling, swear words, almost on the brink of tears vulnerability.

YEAH, the good stuff!

In that moment, my fear had me by the throat.

Fear of the unknown. Fear that I have failed and there is no way out.

My emotions and reactions had me. They were strangling me.

They cornered me this time. I had no where to run.

I couldn’t get away. So many people were so much better than me! I’ve wasted so much time.

Hold up! Wait a second.

According to who?

What metric are we using to measure your true well being?

The size of your house? Now maybe instead of being HUGE, it has to be small and efficient like those FIRE peeps I’m starting to follow on the inter web. For those not in the know, FIRE stands for financially independent, retire early. Like in your 30s early.

Yes, now you all have to do that.

The hardest lesson I’m learning lately is that comparison is the serial killer of happiness and well being.

Comparison is the Ted Bundy of happiness.

Who cares what anyone else is doing?

Evidently I care or I wouldn’t be having this rant.

And you care. Or maybe you don’t. Or maybe it comes and goes.

We need to allow blow ups more often! They help us discover how ridiculous your thoughts actually are.

Admit it! There are times when you are thinking that you need MORE!

Everything in your world needs to be badass, first class, and gold medals!

You deserve the award, not that moron up on stage.

You’ve thought it. I’ve thought it. These heat of the moment thoughts are all part of the process!

The fact of this matter is what Ryan Holiday from The Daily Stoic exclaims, “We should enjoy this brief time we have on earth- not be enslaved to emotions that make us miserable and dissatisfied.”

The time is now!

Time to be happy and enjoy every breath you take is right now!

Let it out!

Complain and let your emotions out in front of someone.

Have them record it so you can go back and listen to how ridiculous you actually sound.

Come on! There is some misery in this world.

There are people on this planet literally enslaved. There is poverty that would blow your mind.

And you have the nerve to complain about a website that is asking for more info they need to sell your additional iPhone you happen to have.

Yes, that was one of my recent complaints.

Guess what? You deserve to complain about that. It’s OK. Let it happen.

Then remind yourself. Really?

That is what there is to complain about?

Interesting!

That’s what I actually have to complain about.

I give you all permission to complain here and there. Make it quick. Be a big baby. Your problems are so big and insurmountable. You will never survive this. You are a failure!

I’ll hand you the Kleenex box.

Then we can hug it out and both realize how stupid that was.

It is part of the process. And that’s OK.

As soon as I’m done writing this, I’m going to run to the gym. It’s a balmy minus ten degrees.

Will the complaint of “Holy shit, it’s cold out” creep in? Hell yeah! I complained about it last night before I went to bed.

Complaints have Kryptonite. It’s called appreciation and gratitude.

Yes it’s cold out, but I can run! My legs are moving my body at a fast rate (according to me) to get me where I’m going. I have that amazing ability.

BOOM! Complaint over.

You might have to do this exercise about 200 times through out the day. But it works.

It’s a journey.

For me, it’s a journey of 1000 words every Monday.

Writing these things down and internalizing them has been one of the greatest opportunities I’ve ever been given.

All these things we think we have to do, we have it all wrong!

We get to do them.

We have the opportunity to go from one sale, to two sales.

We have the opportunity to get after it for another day.

We have the opportunity to attempt to win another war against comparison.

You have the opportunity to enjoy this brief moment you have on this planet.

Complaints are part of the journey. Let it out and let it go. No one will judge you. And if they do, who cares. It’s you.

It’s the authentic you and I love that authentic you. I love my authentic me!

You do you and I’ll do me and we will do badass things according to ourselves, and then the world will be a much better place.

Stay frosty and GRIND ON!

JT


For more JUICY content, check out our podcast: http://grindpodcast.com