Apple starts selling the “Real MacBook Pro”™

In a stunning reversal Apple brought out a MacBookPro with all connectors imaginable, and named it the “Real MacBook Pro”™.

In a hastily organised invite-only meeting, we and some other non-fake news reporters were called in today to visit a work shed just outside the main worksite of the new Apple Campus.

Tim Cook, Jon Ive, Eddy Cue and Phil Schiller were not on stage in the small room: there was no stage. Only a select group of journalists and long time Mac developers were invited to witness this extraordinary event, which I cannot describe other than as the rebirth of Apple as a computer corporation. Representing Apple were a bunch of grey haired engineers and managers, and a cardboard box covered with a dishcloth.

After some introductory remarks (“Hey guys, how’re doing”), one of the engineers started a rambling introduction, which from time to time was interrupted by some of the other guys from the company. Some of the remarks:

‘I knew we screwed up, I mean, even I could not stand working anymore with the new macbook pro, and I have worked on every horrible piece of device ever invented, Dec VT100’s with Gandalf serial connectors, Commodore 64’s with keyboards that gave you Carpal Tunnel Syndrome within an hour of typing, ZX Spectrums with spongy keypads that made your nails bleed, Elisa’s, LispMachines with so many windows opening up at the same time I never got to work on it, not to mention the screens I had to work on, 40x25 amber on black, 80x25…