We self-optimizer

Time. CC0 Creative Commons — pixabay — HypnoArt

It has happened again. Some call it murder, other self-optimization. And I’m in the middle of it.

9th of September, 8:30 pm. I take a little walk. Blog around blog is circled and grazed. Friends welcome me from afar and waving at me for a cold beer. Pretty cool. A good talk, then I go on. At all the buildings, it is tempting me to go through the first door, which looks almost too inviting, to look more closely at the inner life. Every time a different world. Beautiful. Blogposts decorate the high rooms. Sometimes the big buildings are older, but also new architecturally sophisticated buildings refresh the small quarters of the financial, lifestyle, beauty, XYZ blogger streets.

There are also similarities. For example, I often meet with a somewhat daring guy in the small antechamber and he puts a small piece of paper in my hand without a word. The first time I was puzzled, the second time interested, the third time curious. What is the point? Only one word: “self-optimization”.

At first I smile, then I feel caught. Whether others feel this way? Forcibly, in my mind, I am bothering for words of freedom to dissolve the cognitive dissonance. But I can not find any. It is a regular freedom constraint that keeps me from doing the right thing. Since the guy is still standing in front of me and apparently waiting for a response which I can not give him, I turn around and storm out of the building, which suddenly becomes my own. What now? Actually I do not want to go in, but a passing insect tears me out of my everyday thoughts. The perfect smoothness begins to crumble. Like an ancient wall that slowly collapses into itself.

With a new courage, I pound into my building like a backpacker. A large room. Three women greet me and introduce themselves: Maschina, Vena and Libere. The first one immediately brings me a glass of water, the other two congratulate me. For what? No idea. But it feels good. They clarify my current situation. Maschina talks about the everyday achievements and the general appreciation of myself. Vena always shows me two pills and Libere nods every time Maschina says something. At the same time, she murmurs something like “freedom, freedom, freedom. Oh, and equality, fraternity … and so.

Now a lecture seems to begin. Numerous articles are quoted by Maschina and fired from all cannon pipes to the truth. The motto: “There is no free lunch.” Libere agrees with the almost tragically comic Singsang and tells me that freedom is conditional. A conditio sine qua non. Certainly. Finally, they explain the rational, individual production function. Output maximization, input optimization. The model sounds plausible and with loud Trara, the two give me a more or less complete contract for a more effective way of life. Vena intervenes.

She is “not so perfect, but much more pleasant.

Sounds good“, I answer, and ask more closely what that means.

You have the choice,” she says delightedly, opening her hands. There is a pill in each case. Blue and red. “The red pill is like speed. Always present, stout, incredibly powerful.” Venas eyes twinkle. “The blue pill is reassuring. Water in the lake, which can also flow through a river.

I wonder why the blue pill should help me in any way. Vena laughs and says that all the others before me asked the same question.

Everyone has to find it out individually.

The three women give me time to think. I must decide in any case. Contract, speed, or water. You ask me about my personal tendency? Speed. Clearly speed. It is the contract and the performance increase together. A classic win-win situation. When Maschina and Libere interpret my emotional excitement, they agree with a strange song that tears me out of my thoughts. I feel reminded of a religious ritual and a malaise comes up in me. The two women notice the change, stop, and Vena begins to grin. My decision has been made. Quickly I throw the blue pill in my mouth. “No risk, no fun.

After that Maschina shrinks and Libere has grown a little bit. “Murder, Murder“, screams Libere, jumping wildly into the air and pointing to Maschina. After a few minutes, however, she calms down and, after a further three to four seconds, appears peaceful. Maschina lets go of a terrible scolding. I do not want to repeat what words came from her mouth. But she also calms down with time. What a miracle. I feel more relaxed. Vena congratulates me on my decision.

Maschina is always at your disposal, she is sometimes more, sometimes less of use. But never raise her to the queen of your little world. Libere is great, but she is used too often. You must realise when she is at risk.

And what about you, Vena?

I protect you from yourself, that you’re not murdering someone.

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