Bursting The Bubble Of True Love And What It Actually Is
What is love exactly? Well…let me tell you a short story that I’m sure you’ll be able to relate to.
It is called:
“Suzie meets Jake”
Suzie, young and modestly beautiful woman, 25, has been single for years now and her body is aching for some love. Or, in other words, she is horny as fuck. When we are horny has fuck we tend to let our guard down, and also our standards. It’s not like we’re ready to take on anyone, but much rather we are ready to look past other person’s flaws if they’re not too big.
Suzie works at the grocery store as a clerk. One day, Jake, a usual guy with a usual life walks in, doesn’t care enough to push a cart and just loads up the goods on his hands. One moment he is being to careless and drops an apple or two. Suzie happens to be around and helps Jake out by picking up the apples. Jake being a guy and everything while Suzie desperately searching for love happen to cross eyes and have an awkward eye contact. But, since guys are almost always looking for another lay and Suzie mentally being in a vulnerable place, Jake’s petty little pickup lane happens to work and they exchange phone numbers. Keep in mind that most guys ask out pretty much anyone who seems to be in their reach. A cold hard fact for ya. Next friday they go out and have a blast since both of them are looking to take things further.
Now, Jake does not have to be a cool guy with excellent game since Suzie is already desperate. Therefore, despite all the mistakes he makes during the date Suzie stays interested in him. Since Jake is not a weird guy, maybe just a little bit inexperienced and needy, possessing these small shortcomings are not a deal breaker.
Since Jake is a guy who has watched many romantic comedies starring Hugh Grant he feels as if he needs to make the first move. Therefore, he kisses Suzie and they happen to hit it off just fine. Once again, not because they’re a match made in heaven but because they’re both looking to hook up. Few dates later they end up doing just that.
A year later they get married because none of them have found a better deal and on top of that do not even care to, since it’s just too much hustle and feels like a tedious thing to do, on some points even unrealistic.
The cold hard truth about marriage, whether you like it or not…
Jake does not get approached by women since he is not a special guy in terms of all the males in the world. He’s just another guy that has nothing special about him, nothing to really stand out from the sea of grey. And Suzie, oh boy, believes in the idea of true love. Therefore, guys that hit on him after he met Jake…she does not even look at them even if her womanly senses tell her to. The guy could be Brad Pitt for all we care, she would not even talk to him. She believes in true love and has completely blanked out the idea of even looking at another guy.
Suzie is not mentally stable. She’s delusional and lives in a fantasy. Deep down she might even know it, which is even worse. Either way, her life is a drag. She’s not happy and lives off her emotions. She is unable to be truly happy because she, for the lack of a better word, is stupid.
And Jake is mediocre.
They live together now. None of them are happy because they’re not being truthful and not using their heads. They don’t read, they don’t know much about the ways of the world other than what media such as the news and papers feed them. Jake believes he cannot get anyone better than Suzie and tries to rationalize not sleeping with other women by saying nonsense such as it’s impossible to have a one night stand without being famous or rich. He thinks women that sleep on first dates are sluts and not worthy, which is of course a big lie. Jake is truly a mediocre guy with mediocre expectations, which lead to a mediocre life. He is disposable. And Suzie is mentally a train wreck.
Jake thinks this way because he was never been exposed to real information about dating and he has just consumed the stuff that’s mainstream. He has no thirst for knowledge. Suzie is in many ways still a little kid who doesn’t allow herself to see the truth simply because it’s too painful. Reality is painful, especially for the weak-minded.
Now, these two people are not bad people. They’re nothing special. Instead, they’re both ordinary. They simply don’t know any better.
Look at any marriage or a relationship and both me and other specialists on the field of dating, psychology and so forth can assure you — such a scenario is almost always the case.
Originally published at myrealdating.com on May 28, 2017.