Monogamy Is Soulcrushing
The stuff that one is able to learn from embarking into the world of dating multiple women is simply unreal. Back when I first got into this life, I had completely no experience with dating what so ever. I had asked a girl out once or twice, but it was always so damn cringy and awkward, plus the girl would always say no. Can’t blame them.
I would have said no to that old me as well.
When I first got into the world of professional pickup, the art of seduction or whatever you want to call it, I was baffled by the idea of having multiple girlfriend, women always texting you back and forth and having the sex life of a fucking greek god (Assuming there are Greek gods and assuming they have lots of sex). I could not get attached to one woman for very long, because I had seen what’s possible. I had seen the life of a pickup artist. Making out with girls left and right, being a social genius, understanding the dynamics of it. And if you lived like this for months, then you’d have a rotation of girls ready to have sex with you without even having to go out of the house at all!
Wonderful, am I right?
After years of being into pickup I finally decided to settle down and try to see how’s the life of monogamic relationship, being the guy that settles down and has sex with only one woman. And I have to say, the beginning years were a complete mess. I cheated like at least 30 times during my first year and then a bit less during the next one. Then, on the third year I finally stopped and settled down for real. And I have to say, living with one woman and not even trying to flirt with anyone else had some tremendous effects on my psychological stance.
First right off the bat, my sex drive was bigger than before. So I was watching a lot of porn. Every other decent looking woman had such a strong pull for me, since I was so sexually oppressed by my own newfound ideology.
Second, I was miserable for a long time since it was so damn hard to accept the fact that I’m not gonna have sex with anybody else in my life. It’s like you have all those sweet looking fruits at your doorstep just waiting to be picked, but you’re just sticking to the old one that you picked long time ago. Masculine energy is meant to be free and always be expanding, and for a guy that has dedicated his life to understanding the ways of seduction, monogamy truly is soulcrushing.
At the end of third year I felt a strong shift. It’s like I was losing my sense of self. I did not have much of a sex drive anymore, I did not care much for girls anymore. It was like I had given up on my purpose. I used to be able to seduce women with ease, but now I was not even aware of that fact anymore. Whenever I was talking to a woman I was like the biggest chode ever, plain, boring, usual type of guy that has nothing on other men. A guy that does not stand out from the crowd.
The worst part is that because I was not having sex with other girls, my mind started to rationalize saying stuff like I don’t need to have sex with other girls, I don’t like them that much anyway, it’s just my emotional stance which will pass at any moment and so on. On top of that I developed approach anxiety, feeling anxious in social situations. It felt like prison.
Moral of the story? Don’t give up on your purpose. As a good friend of mine once said:
“Find what you love and let it kill you.”
A wise man’s world is based on two words: Fuck you. This means you should always be doing things for you, just for the sake of doing them and for the fact that you take pride in doing them and enjoy it deeply. Fuck money. Fuck authority. Fuck patriotism. Find what matters to You. Don’t let other people’s ideals fuck up your life.
When you grow up you tend to get told the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world.
Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money.
That’s a very limited life.
Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.
Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.
And, as you’ve already guessed, I’m no longer in a monogamic relationship (no shit). Sure, there are guys that have a different purpose in life and that would be totally happy with one with to stand by their side for the rest of their life, but that’s only a small portion of us. Maybe it changes with age…who the fuck knows. Find out what works for you at this given time, always be fully honest with yourself, self-aware, and rock it! 😉
Originally published at myrealdating.com on May 17, 2017.