The Rules

I debated with myself whether or not to write this post. It’s supposed to outline the bounds of this new thing. How often I’ll do it. What kinds of topics I’ll be talking about. What kind of language you ought to prepare for. But Jake told me it might be pointless. He told me that a post like this may be unnecessary because my readers ought to already be prepared for whatever I write. If I write something extremely cryptic, off-putting, or out of place, you’re supposed to think about it, I think.

Hmm. That’s really weird. He put that there intentionally. Why?

Jake said there’s a difference between an author and a journalist. While the journalist has a mission to truthfully inform, the author’s mission is to express. The journalist is straightjacketed by the reader’s expectations it seems, where everything must be taken at face value. So sure, I’m going more for the author thing.

But uhh, yeah…fuck Jake right?

The goal is to write one of these posts every week or so. I may be a bit slow some weeks, or a bit fast on others. If for whatever reason some serious shit goes down and I can’t get to it, then I might go off the radar for a bit. But until I say otherwise, I promise I’ll come back in a timely manner.

All of the expectations you have in your head about my personality and how that will come out in these posts? Throw it all out. You don’t know me! You don’t know my life! Right Karine?

That’s another thing. Sometimes I’ll address all of you. Sometimes I’ll make an inside joke with just one of you. Sometimes I’ll even be really mean in a way that only some of you will get. If I never address you, don’t feel bad. You just suck that’s all.

This blogging thing basically comes down to me being bored and messing around. Damn ok I forgot. Oh yeah, so yeah sometimes I will write things very stream of thought. Ok I honestly just forgot what I was going to talk about and my mind did that thing where you try to think about what you forgot and it just pushes it even further back. You get the point though, right? Sometimes there will be no point.

And that’s really the beauty of this whole thing. There are so many things I want to talk about, but not enough time to hang out with people to talk about them with. So of course I need to put this vomit on the internet. It’s vomit that you’re slurping up willingly. You can stop reading any time and I won’t be sad. Because I won’t trap you in conversation that you don’t want to be in.

I’ll throw in the occasional fuck or shit, but won’t let things get out of hand. If you transcribe people’s natural speech, it’s actually ridiculous how many fucks and shits come up. I already censor myself quite a bit here, because if I didn’t there’d be a lot more fucks and shits up in this bitch. Too much cussing does look trashy in writing, and I’d normally pride myself in being like yeah fuck it, I don’t care how I come off. I’m gonna be honest and unfiltered and all natural. No. I gotta clean this shit up.

Lastly, don’t always expect a nice little resolution at the end of each piece I write. Sometimes I will leave you hanging.

But not this time.