Funrazing
Dear no-reply@<5end-us-dolRs.org>,
First — I respect your right to tell me not to reply, but maintain my right to do so anyhow.
Your recent organizational e-News was, well, received. Rest assured, I did not overlook the e-beg4money that was tastefully presented at so many places in the bulletin. Since I won’t be sending money, please accept this little e-News update on me instead.
This is an exciting time for members of the extended family of organizations, universities, and other institutions seeking me money. I am proud to say that your community is growing by the day, held together by the common bond of depending on my $25, $50, $500, or really whatever I can spare to save the planet, protect something, or continue to provide the quality educational experience that I have already paid for in full on behalf of myself or family member.
When paying my mortgage, my Visa bill, my cable+wifi bill, my insurance premiums, or my parking tickets, I sometimes think of your need, and wistfully regret that the money is not going to you instead — we both know that’s a lie, but it is a harmless lie between us, so let’s not worry about that. The fact is, they get my money, and you don’t.
Please don’t take this the wrong way. I absolutely either support your cause, am sympathetic to your cause, have heard of your cause, have no idea what you do, or find your values loathsome and despicable. Certainly in the future I will either send you a generous gift, send a token amount to ease my guilt, or send nothing at all.
Thank you and either take care or do not take care, as appropriate.
Kind or apathetic or sarcastically biting regards,
John
