Cyan’s experience mirrors mine to a fair degree. I’ve never had a strong gender identity and see myself (and others) primarily as people, not “men” or “women”.
However I think of muted gender identity as normal for human beings. What really is queer is human beings playing at being gorillas or some other strongly-gendered ape. Bipolar gender is just a role people play to hide their insecurities.
A defining characteristic of humanity is collaborative thought. Close collaboration is undermined by strong gender roles and that indicates to me that proto homo sapiens were not strongly gender dimorphic or our kind of thinking would not have evolved.
To be gender disphoric to a degree does not mean you are in the wrong body, it simply means you are a human being.