What if i don’t want to forget?

It was just another quiet yet distressing day in library, writing and researching for my master degree thesis. It’s even worse specially if you have your mind just thinking 1001 scenarios about one other and bigger thing.

I’m 24 years-old.

These past weeks, some of my close friends all have surfaced this sentence to me: ‘you have to forget‘. But nobody asked this, except for one: ‘do you want to forget?’ I said: ‘NO. Exactly. I don’t want to forget.’

If you haven’t figured out yet… yes, this is a girl i’m talking about.

You see, nowadays, every time a relationship is over your best friends (being supportive, of course) hand you a simple and agonizing ‘forget her’. We ALL KNOW this is more simple said than done. Nothing new here. BUT, actually only a few care to know if you really wan’t to forget that girl (or boy). And there i was when my friend asked me that and i promptly said ‘NO’.

It’s been 5 weeks since my girlfriend wanted to break up. I won’t bother you with all the love and care stuff. We had a strong, happy and looking forward relationship but, suddenly, on a music festival volunteering, in just 2 days, she figured that we handled a work environment in different ways and… as simple as that, she wanted to end the relationship. After 2 days of trying to stop the castle from falling, i agreed.

the day eveything changed.

After all the crying and denial, i’ve looked into our moments and i’ve realised: ‘you know, even after all this situation, this is the girl i like, this is the girl i want to make happy every morning, this is the girl i want to make happy every nighy, this is the girl that makes me smile, this is even the girl that would be the perfect mother of our children’. I know that reading is not the same as feeling but believe me, the girl i’m talking of, is THIS special to me.

And, YES, i don’t want to forget. Not only she defines me as she challenges me to discover new skills and things and i didn’t even heard of. She challenges my fears. She supports my battles. She was there all the time. We cooked meals for the first time. We visited spaces for the first time. We were in love, FOR REAL.

Not even for a second, i’m thinking of forgetting this girl and more, i’m not thinking of stop to LOVE her. I still do.

I’m not ashamed.

I’m not in denial.

I just know she’s the one.

And if you have been through a break-up and feel the same, be resilient! If you still love her / love him, don’t stop. Things will be fixed sooner than you think.

This is a love story with a pause.

I hope to return soon with a smile. A big one!

Thanks for listening.

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