The one thing you seem to have been unaware of or have forgotten is that it requires faith to come to God. Instead, you ask for evidence and certainty before you will believe. It doesn’t work like that.
The Bible states plainly that “faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God”. When you rejected the Bible as you have, you have further cut yourself off from the one source from which faith arises.
So then, not only have you rejected God, you have also rejected the one thing God provided humanity to help reconcile is back to himself. Even if Christians were to preach the word faithfully to you, I don’t think you will be able to get much out of it because of your choice.
This is not a good position for you to be in, and I would not wish it on anyone. If you don’t have a change of heart and repent, this won’t end very well for you. It will end in the second death and the lake of fire.