I used to be a Boy Scout

“Who the hell wants to speak about politics when I’m in front of the Boy Scouts, right?”
Let that sink in for a moment. That’s what our sitting President told a group of Boy Scouts at their Jamboree. The Jamboree, for folks unfamiliar, is a big gathering of Scouts where multiple packs from multiple places across the country meet yearly to celebrate the outdoors and, increasingly, conservatism.
I was a Boy Scout in Columbus, Ohio and my father was Den Leader. I took first place in Pinewood Derby one year and I like tying knots. I got lots of badges and ranks and quit when I was in eighth grade or so. I suspect my experience is similar to the experience of countless other fathers out there. I have a picture of myself holding my winning race car, cap pulled low, pride in my eyes. I was happy, then, because the Boy Scouts helped me be happy.
In a world of uncontrolled change I though the Boy Scouts were a rock in a stormy sea. No matter where you lived in the US you could send your boy to the Scouts and he could shoot some arrows into a hay bale and tell some ghost stories and generally learn about the world.
I put our oldest, Kasper, into a Brooklyn chapter of the Scouts. He, like me, doesn’t like group activities but everything they did there, from listening to a District Attorney describe fingerprinting techniques to building a birdhouse out of wood, was in sync with my memories. I was even willing to ignore Scouting’s primary scandal involving an anti-homosexual agenda after it was discovered that countless boys were fondled by the den leaders. Bad apples, I’d be more vigilant, maybe I could enact change from within etc. I volunteered my time but the team in Brooklyn was too addled to figure out what they needed.
But I persevered.
I am a liberal journalist in deepest, darkest Brooklyn. My family adheres to strict atheism and I enjoy kale. But I still thought Scouting was a good thing.
No longer.
Why? Not because of anything the Scouts have done. It’s because the people that make up scouting, the leaders from places outside of Brooklyn, are totally into Trump. Our sitting President daily makes a mockery of all Scouting stands for — honor, honesty, and fair-dealing, to name a few important things — and believes it is his place to stand up and talk politics to a bunch of kids who basically just want to shoot some BB guns.
And how does he begin?
“Who the hell wants to speak about politics when I’m in front of the Boy Scouts, right?”
“What do you think the chances are that this incredible, massive crowd, record-setting, is going to be shown on television tonight? One percent or zero,” he went on to day. “The fake media will say President Trump spoke before a small crowd of Boy Scouts today. That’s some — that is some crowd. Fake media, fake news.”
Who the hell, indeed? But I also ask “Is this how I want my kids to be spoken to? Is this the role model they deserve? Why didn’t he tell them to grab life by the pussy?”
Fake news, fake media. Fake loyalty. Fake faith. Fake duty.
The President should be the most competent person we know. He’s our Den Leader. He can have some fun and tell some jokes but we should be able to entrust him with a Scout Group and assume he won’t teach them all how to pick up Ukrainian models in Studio 54. I want my sons to be able to respect Scouting and the President. They can now do neither.
Further, our culture is so debased that we now allow a clown to run the circus, to stand up in front of boys and tell them deep, lasting lies that change personalities, that break bonds, the ruin the social compact. Politics is a lie we tell ourselves to help us believe someone is in charge. Even that lie cannot be trusted.
There were opportunities to teach boys and young men honor and strength in the Scouts. There were reasons to join that surpass petty politics and old men who like to talk dirty. There were reasons it should exist beyond the fact that it’s a breeding ground for conservative thought. But now there aren’t. I’d like to join a Scouts that supports no religion but is tolerant of all, that is open to all, and believes that being human is more important than being a Republican. But that’s not the case. That makes me sad but it doesn’t surprise me.
On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.
I’d stand by these words. I really would. But I can’t support an organization or a president that would debase them to such a degree.
Basically now we need a version of the Scouts for atheists who like kale. Let’s start one.
Image via http://www.ktc-bsa.org
