On Letting Go Before Moving On

It’s almost New Years, y’all. I echo the sentiment in constant refrain: “I can’t even.” Oh no, that’s the wrong one. Had a little too much 2014 stank on it. Here we go: “I can’t believe it.”

A ton of pixelated ink will be spilt talking about how you should plan out your resolutions, how saying “no” to the right things will make you the best person in your little universe as well as cause Steve Jobs to smile in heaven where he just released a controversial new product called iGod, and how those 15 pounds don’t stand a chance if you just download this one app (you really should get Fitocracy though), buy those awesome shoes (Chucks all day long, son), and drink that awesome drank (duh).

But before you can unleash yourself on the next year just to burn out a couple weeks later (more articles forthcoming on that topic, no doubt), you’ve gotta look back for a little bit. The art of reflection is overdiscussed and underpracticed. And I’m the chief of sinners in this department, I’d imagine. Knowing what’s coming down the pipe gets me amped or anxious. Both of those responses in turn get me working furiously towards accomplishing the goal, clearing the queue, and soaring over whatever expectations exist.

There is an old Tibetan meditation type called Tonglen. This practice is one of giving and taking, the rough translation of the name itself. In it, you breathe in pain, loss, and suffering, whether your own or someone else’s. When you exhale, or rather simply relax your breath out, you are said to be releasing goodwill towards those painful areas of the world. You could breathe in a homeless person’s cold, lonely misery this holiday season and breathe out shelter, warmth, and friendship.

What is ultimately breathed out, then, is simply love.

Don’t look to me for expert meditation advice or Buddhism’isms (a word I found while one with the cosmos). I only heard of this a night or two ago thanks to Amy Poehler’s Yes please. And while I’ll probably never practice Tonglen myself, there is a concept behind it that is edifying to us all: you have to take what is here before moving towards what is there.

In other words, you can’t know how to approach next year in any truly worthwhile fashion until you’ve spent time processing this year fully. Breathe it in and hold it. Let it settle in your bones. Recollect the trials and pains, the victories and defeats, the tears and laughter. Without all of this in your mind’s eye how could you ever hope to gain an accurate picture of what next year could look like? So don’t run from it, face it. Don’t skirt it, absorb it.

And then let it go. Let the good stuff come out. The next set of goals. The next phase in your relationships. The better you. The sub-15 pounds you. The you who is busy helping the helpless. The you working for more than just a paycheck. The love.

So all Buddhism and Far East religious philosophy and practice aside, what I’m saying is simply don’t be a fool who dives headlong into next year never having learnt a damned thing this year. Be wise by being a student of your own life and that of others’. Learn. Pivot. Increment. Rinse. Repeat. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Love.

I honestly don’t put a lot of time or energy into my posts. They’re much more a stream of consciousness in the moment. Whatever comes out is what stays. Even so, I always appreciate a little love (fitting!)so if you enjoyed this then please recommend it. If not, I’d love to hear your thoughts via comments.
Whatever the case, Happy New Year!