John Shaw
John Shaw
Jul 25, 2017 · 4 min read

I just received an email from a new friend, Rana. The subject line said:

I was enthralled, because lately, I have indeed slept through stuff, and it wasn’t great, and I’ve been craving someone to consider. How did Rana know? So, I opened the email and read it.

That’s it. Rana skipped the usual “I hope all is well”. She was brief, right to the point, clear and concise. She even skipped the old cliche closings, like “Sincerely” or “Yours Truly” or “Regards”, or the more trendy “Best” and “Cheers”. I like that, and now, I like Rana.

Let’s parse Rana’s email message.

Rana’s subject line was becoming too familiar; I was too close to it and it wasn’t affecting me like it did before. Again, how did she know? But with this twist of a familiar phrase in a fresh, creative way, Rana renewed my faith in her as a human being and, in fact, for all humanity. Life is good.

This is incredible. Rana has apparently found a way to produce more of something but end up with less. Or something like that. All my life I have sought ways to achieve this state of nirvana. Sure, she’s talking about cash, but I imagine that the same principles will apply to our relationships, our spiritual lives, and snorkeling. You’ve heard the old adages, “Do more with less”, and “Less is more”, and “More or less”. Well, this is those, personified in Rana. I think.

Rana, Rana Rana. Her faith in me is far greater than my own, and, perhaps, unwarranted and misguided. Deep down inside, I fear that the only way I could do this would be to write a song called “Equal” and then foist it on the unsuspecting crowd at an open mic.

I am a jumble of emotions. Rana seems to know me, but I am beginning to wonder how well.

No, not “Check this out”. Not for our Rana! She has an entirely new take on that trite phrase. I’m back in the Rana Fan Club. She’s done it again!

Clear and concise? Check.

Call to action? Check.

Language of the street, dressed for success? Check.

Check. Check. Check.

Wait, check that. ASSESS.

I picture people of all ages adopting this new “street language” as their own. “Whoa, assess this out!” It’s a familiar concept, with a call to a new life, a life beyond, but with more letters and syllables. “Assess This Out!” There’s a Rana book deal and a speaking tour in there somewhere. (Note to self: Register assessthisout.com). I see T-Shirts and coffee mugs with the “ASSESS THIS OUT” logo. Conference room posters and desk calendars. Oprah. A Netflix series. (Note to Rana: Hire the brand managers for kale. They can sell anything.)

I’m confused. Did somebody keep rehiring Rana? Five times? Will the sixth time stick? This isn’t going to look good on a résumé.

I turn 59 next month. Words like “Ensure” are beginning to have a deeper meaning. They move me. But Rana’s words aren’t moving me like before.

About thirty pounds. Once again, I’m concerned about just how much Rana knows, how she knows it, and what her intentions might be.

Uh oh. This sounds like a threat. I think I’ll sleep through this. Maybe when I wake up I will have produced more cash than I actually have.

John Shaw
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