I say to you

If you come to me with one hand open,

the other hand cocked back in a fist

and say you come in friendship…

Then I say to you:

Do not feign shock when it is the fist I focus on, for the real threat of violence you bring is more important than the empty hand of friendship you offer.

Friendship cannot exist in the shadow of an “or else”

If you insist that other behave in a way,

but you will not also behave in the same way…

Then I say to you:

Take no umbrage when your demands are ignored, for if you consider them unimportant, then that is the example others shall follow as well. “Do as I say, not as I do” is the polite version of “it is okay when *I* do it” and is the mark of one who is untrustworthy and a hypocrite.

If you wish your feelings to be considered,

but don’t consider the feelings of those with whom you disagree…

Then I say to you:

Do not cry crocodile tears at the unjustness of being treated as you treat the other. If you wish to be treated well, you must treat the other similarly. This is especially true when the other is one you dislike.

If harsh criticism is unbecoming to your ears or your eyes,

and you wish for criticism that contains information that can be acted upon…

Then I say to you…

Do not slap back at criticism conforming to your wishes, for such criticism takes real effort and no small amount of consideration. Harshness and hurt come easily, consideration is a much harder path. The more barriers you place upon the harder path, the less anyone shall trod it.