Seriously though

A slightly longer response to the iOS 9 butthurting.

So while my last response was very fun to put up, it’s a bit…well, shallow. Fun, but shallow.

In terms of the crap ad networks pull, the fact that the iOS 9 content blockers are so popular should surprise no one. No one at all. The current state of ads for the most part, (there are some good players, The Deck is one of the most popular), is almost abusive.

Me, I keep it simple. I have disabled Flash, (I’ve a couple things I need it for, alas), but that’s about it. If a site has too many ads that cock up the reading of the content, I stop going to that site. I solve two problems that way: the ad problem, and I save some time. The site loses twice, because it’s doubtful I’ll ever go back even to check on them, and they still lose that ad revenue. But, I’m not reading their content either, so they also can’t pull some sanctimonious bullshit about “stealing” content or whatever the hell they’re using now.

I find it infuriating that the same people who tell me, when I’m angry that my wife’s artwork is being stolen, really stolen, that I have no right to be angry, not really STOLEN, exposure and all the other self-serving crapola used are now all OMG U R STEELEEENG MY PRECIOUS CONNNNTENNNNT when it’s their ox being gored. Unsurprising, but infuriating.

But given some of the utter santimonious effluvia coming from John Gruber et al, I’m half-tempted to buy a content blocker and only block ads by The Deck. Seriously:

I think if your Safari Content Blocker blocks The Deck by default, it’s wrong. I dare you to defend it.

Fuck you John. I wish there were more letters in “Fuck you” to properly get across the Fuck you-edness of the Fuck you that I am Fuck you-ing at him. You don’t actually get to decide that for people. You don’t get to decide what ads someone who is not you dislikes. You don’t get to make the judgement that your ads are totes okey-fucking-dokey, it’s just those other guys’ ads that are shit.

Your stuff, is also shit. And if you’re going to stand there and cheer on the goring of other people’s oxen, then when your ox takes it in the shorts, please, do spare us the time wasted by your puling. I’ve…no, everyone has better things to do than have your fatuous whining babel assaulting either our ear- or eye-holes.

No one has to defend shit, least of all to you, especially, especially when, going by your current published rates, you’re pulling in $9.7K per week just to sponsor your fucking RSS feed, and between now (18 Sept.) and 6 Dec., you’ve got $78K in RSS sponsorship locked in, and if you get 52 weeks a year of this, and there’s no reason to think you don’t, that’s $507,000 a year just for that one income stream for a one-person website.

I’m genuinely glad Gruber has that level of success, but when you’re pulling in over a half-mill a fucking year before we even look at your Ad Revenue, don’t seriously cry poor, poor Johnny. What, you might have to actually wait a month before you buy a fifth Macbook? You might have to get the non-Cooperworks Mini? Wah.

Gruber, who at this point, should probably be called Gerber giving the crying he’s doing over this, is doing something even worse though, especially for someone considered a “raconteur”: his shitty, shitty writing so far on this issue is killing his one point: The Deck is doing the right thing and it is the model more ad networks should use, and you shouldn’t block it because ultimately that hurts you as much as them.

Not The Deck’s exclusivity nonsense, that’s just high school clique crap. I mean the fact that The Deck actually implements advertising in an unobtrusive way that doesn’t track you, doesn’t mess with your bandwidth, doesn’t autoplay videos, etc., yadda. I like the way The Deck does things. Hell, I’m trying to make sure I capitalize it correctly, and I’m lazy as hell about those things.

So I’m going to try to say this better than Gruber, (not really hard at the moment.)

Advertising sucks, but right now, it’s the best option sites have. Don’t start in with me about micropayments, we all know it’s lies and bullshit. You assholes aren’t going to pay for most (99%) of websites. Anyone trying to convince me of that is lying. To me, to themselves, or both. But that model only works for really high, high end content. Even then, not well. If it did, we wouldn’t be so reliant on advertising.

As well, regardless of the idiocy you’re fed, bandwidth is not free, storage is not free, servers aren’t free. Amazon is only cheap at the extreme low end. Even then, you can be paying 1200/2400 a year for S3 without trying really hard. Take a look at Gruber’s stats on his web page. That’s real traffic folks, that requires real money. Gruber’s done the work to attract the dosh he gets in terms of advertising and sponsorship, but he still needs that shit. On the Internet, unmanaged success kills you faster than failure.

So when you block ads by outfits like The Deck, who are genuinely doing things the right way, you (the public) are genuinely shooting yourselves in the foot, and websites you supposedly like in the head. I understand the temptation to just yell “A POX ON ALL YOUR HOUSES” and block all of it, but ultimately, that doesn’t fix the problem. That just makes it worse in a way that hurts everyone.

My proposal is to Santa Claus Management this. No, really, think about it. What is Santa’s “Management Style”? He rewards the good (presents), and he punishes the wicked, (coal or maybe the Krampus if they’re real shits.) So, if you genuinely enjoy reading sites that use The Deck or other good actors for their ads, don’t punish them because iMore’s advertising is like getting a blowjob from a rusty woodchipper. If you like Daring Fireball, or The Loop, or Six Colors, or other sites using well-behaved advertising, don’t block those ads. Reward the good, and block the high holy hell out of the bad.

This takes a little longer, but ultimately, web sites, and advertisers will realize “hey…those deck guys…they’re really successful, and we…we are not.” By rewarding the good, and maybe being a bit public about it, you create incentive, actual fiscal incentive for the current batch of wicked children to change their ways. As they do, reward them as well.

But if you’re going to punish everyone, then why even bother? If I’m going to get punished just as bad for good behavior as I am for bad, then the only real reason to be good is personal morality and/or being good takes less effort than being bad. The end result is the same either way.

If you still insist on blocking all ads, well, that is your right, and go on with your bad self. But I think that’s ultimately punishing yourself as well as the bad ad networks and sites that use bad ad networks, because that’s going to leave the only way to afford a successful web site being venture capital or being part of a group that makes money in other ways.

That…that is very bad for the web, because that is how you get the corporate control over the web that everyone is so very worried about.

So, tl;dr, Gruber et al are being whiny tits about this, and it’s obscuring the salient point they’d have if they’d stop crying into their bespoke curated cocktails and act like grownups for a change. But don’t let their stupidity goad you into equal, albeit opposing stupidity as well. You’re smarter than that.