Some Generation Z baby name suggestions

A Gen Z’er will be the first person to use a physical object as a name for a child I bet

I learned today that there is another generation that comes after me (I am a millennial, I think) and that it is called “Generation Z”. These children were born around 1996 and later. Some of these humans will eventually stop doing Snapchat long enough to have kids, and they will want to give them really “dank” names.

Unlike previous generations, this new generation craves originality. They don’t want to use old family names or names from the Bible (unless they do it ironically and spelled with $ or @ or whatever). Here are some suggestions for Generation Z names based on observations I have made of youngsters.

  1. Emoji
  2. Wokeness
  3. Shooke (like Brooke)
  4. Tind (a derivative of Tinder)
  5. Ayyo
  6. Famantha (fam + Samantha)
  7. John (this is timeless)
  8. Tbh
  9. Kushner
  10. Podcast
  11. Alexa
  12. Prime
  13. Midterm (like the election, not the test)
  14. Crypto
  15. Bernie
  16. Icecap (named for those we’ve lost)
  17. Glacier (same as above)
  18. Kardashi (Or some other derivative work)
  19. Lit

My guess is that you’ll start seeing those pop up in your Facebook birth announcements any time. Not that Gen-Z’ers use Facebook, but their older relatives and the babies’ grandparents will post really lit pics and snaps of them.

These shouldn’t be surprising, honestly

This is is just the way language and naming trends go, honestly. For example, in the 1980’s you had this crazy surge of babies named Trickle Down in honor of Ronny Reagan, or Yoshi in honor of that green lizard horse thing that Mario rides.

Please feel free to use any of the above names if you decide you want to. I think we’re going to have a huge surge in births in the coming years as the political force currently in power yanks away easy access to birth control. In that case this list will become an indispensable resource for the undereducated, screen-dependent automatons that we call our contemporary youth.