Love yourself for certain. Accept that which happened, but not doubt. Embrace the words of others (guilty), but find your own inner and outer voices to express the way YOU feel. Commune freely.
I am the father of a daughter lost at the sixth month, and of a son, the beneficiary of nearly 10 years of medical advancement, and two weeks more in gestation before arriving 2 pounds 4 ounces. He is now 23, a lifelong gifted student, a college graduate with a double major, and now a graduate student pursuing Masters & Specialist degrees. My wife and I found ourselves sorting condolences and advice post-miscarriage, and the duality of the messaging was initially surprising, yet we came to accept it as given, except… “Time will make it go away”.
We cherish the memories of a face amazingly reflective of her big sister’s, and we reflect upon the fragility of her shared journey as a preemie; one which helped prepare us for her little brother’s fight for life. God bless you, and I include a prayer for the heart of a father also dealing with loss. Your courageous sharing of your experience, is itself a blessing.