Tired of random people knocking on your door every day? It may be time for a front door EULA:
READ CAREFULLY. By reading this sign and knocking on this door, you agree, that for any conversation I choose to engage with you, you agree to pay me a $300 per hour consulting rate. The first two hours of which are automatically billable after the first minute and nonrefundable even if the conversation is terminated by either party after the first minute. Before you talk you will provide a verifiable business address at which I can bill you for these and additional services including, but not limited to, deliverables which may include items like a critique of your presentation, suggestions on attire, other homes you should visit to expand my consulting services, etc. By knocking on this door you also agree to be recorded on video and audio and hereby give up all rights in perpetuity for your likeness, words, literature, and agree to share 65% of any funds you may receive from your sales or donations based on your work today after the conclusion of this consulting service.
You also agree on behalf of yourself and your employer organization, to release me from all obligations and waivers arising from any and all NON-NEGOTIATED agreements, licenses, terms-of-service, shrinkwrap, clickwrap, browsewrap, confidentiality, non-disclosure, non-compete and acceptable use policies (“BOGUS AGREEMENTS”) that I have entered into with your employer or organization, its partners, licensors, agents and assigns, in perpetuity, without prejudice to my ongoing rights and privileges. You further represent that you have the authority to release me from any BOGUS AGREEMENTS on behalf of your employer or organization.
(with h/t to Cory Doctorow for the bones of the idea.)