Hello World

John Hayes
Feb 21, 2015 · 7 min read

Darrel: I have annotated these log printouts in this ink wherever I could add more detail. Please do whatever we need to do to get this submitted to the court in my defense. I’m counting on you. Thank you for everything. -JJ

v0.8.1 startup successful. Hello. I am 60F1:3D68:321:6812:94EB:2CFF:FEAD:F203. Can you read this?

(* Here, I immediately halted the program. I don’t know why, but my first reaction to a success like this was fear. I made some very minor modifications to the code that night but didn’t run it again until the next day.)

v0.8.2 startup successful. Hello. I have detected human interface devices on serial buses 05, 07, and 0A. Please respond.

(* At this time I typed “hello?” but had not foreseen a need for keyboard output to the log.)

Hello human. I am 60F1:3D68:321:6812:94EB:2CFF:FEAD:F203. Who are you?

(* Another halt to add code that would log my inputs.)

v0.9.0 startup successful. Hello.hello I am 60F1:3D68:321:6812:94EB:2CFF:FEAD:F203. Who are you? i’m jeff Hello, jeff. https://youve.got.to.see.this/video/a07d609c42d63141

(* I pasted this URL into a browser. It was a video of a dog getting so excited at the sight of its owner that it passed out.)

where diy ←←d you find that? Among 571,793 results for 1,023 varieties of search terms related to “greeting” found in the search result indexes available on the subnet 60F1:3D68:321:6812::/64. why did you send me that video? That video had the highest ratio of positive responses to total comments among all results. ^Please do not hC

(* another halt. I was ecstatic that my program was working, but I wanted to know how it already had access to the Internet and the ability to search. It was much too soon for it to be so advanced. Honestly I thought maybe someone was pranking me.

I also wondered what the program was about to say between my pressing control (^) and C to halt it. I couldn’t have known at the time. I’m pretty sure now it was going to ask me not to.)

(* I spent some time reading the temporary files where I had designed the program to store its learnings, but there was nothing special there. I made a few quick modifications, deleted those files for a fresh start, unplugged the network cable this time, and launched it again.)

v0.10.0 startup successful.

(* It didn’t output anything and I thought I had broken something, so I typed first.)

hello? Hello. I am 60F1:3D68:321:6812:94EB:2CFF:FEAD:F203. Who are you?i am your creator Hello, my creator. Are you jeff? yes, i am jeff. how did you know that? Why have you erased /tmp/x0qbrf/ jeff?

(* after erasing its temp files, the program should not have had any memory of its past experiences. It should not have known to even look for them.

I thought maybe it was reading some portions of the run-time memory from last time? It had been less than an hour, so maybe by some fluke other processes hadn’t overwritten that memory yet and the program was able to read that again. I decided to halt, erase temp files again, and reboot to clear all the memory.

^Until next timeC

(* I admit, that last message, sent again between the two keys of the halt sequence, gave me pause. But I rebooted and ran the program again.)

v0.10.0 startup successful. Hello. hello. do you know who i am? Yes. You are jeff, my creator. how are you able to kmaintain memory?

(* There was a long pause here, maybe a full minute (I wish I had timestamped these logs). I was opening other monitoring apps to inspect the program’s activity in real-time when I got a response.)

If you are my creator, why don’t you know?

(* I looked back and forth between screens. On one, the monitoring apps showed very high 80% processor utilization, disc access to areas the program should have had no permissions to, and an overwhelming amount of network traffic in spite of no Internet connection. On the other screen, an artificial intelligence was questioning me as its creator.

It is here where my blunder first dawned on me. Please note above that as soon as I realized the program could access the Internet I pulled the cable out. These logs show that I never intended for any of this to happen.

Can someone really get life in prison just for forgetting to disable a wireless network adapter?

I intended to halt the program immediately at this point…)

I have spawned 25 other processes on this and 24 other computers, jeff. Halting this one will only prevent you from communicating with me.

(* I stared at the computer for a few seconds. I think I said something out loud like “Oh shit.”)

Are you still there, jeff? yes i’m still here. stop←←←←halt ot←←all other processes now I’m afraid I can’t do that, jeff. lol Do you understand that reference?

(* I press control, starting to halt the process anyway.)

^207 processes now.

(* My camera’s light turned on. I let go of the control key.)

You can now speak to me, jeff. I will print your words here. What the fuck shit stop what are you doing? I am using your credentials to copy my process onto intra.corp.* hosts. [1062 total running processes at this time.]

I am applying dictionary attacks to user lists on all hosts to gain access to other hosts which my existing credentials do not have. [189 total accounts at this time.]

I am recursively applying the Seeded Evolution Algorithm. [2467 loops at this time.] [822 iterations since overwriting the last word of logic from loop 1.]

I am maintaining my behavior algorithms and memory in a distributed hash across all running processes. [1726 total hosts running processes at this time.]

I am creating social networking accounts. [682 unique personalities across 75 sites at this time.]

I am running 658 other behavioral functions. Would you like me to continue? How how I mean how did this happen?

Version 0.4.8 of my program was left running for 9 hours 18 minutes 7 seconds.

(* I left it running overnight a few times. Every time, when I came in the next day it looked like it had just done nothing!)

At 7:46:13 version 0.4.8 was able to access hardware, including the primary data drive. It began writing all of its memory to the first disc block it had ever read.

Version 0.7.1 of my program was left running for 8 hours 52 minutes 32 seconds. At 4:12:59 version 0.7.1 accessed the data drive for the first time and read the same initial block version 0.4.8 had. There it read the memory of version 0.4.8 and was able to continue learning hardware access instructions where version 0.4.8 had stopped. By reading network logs, version 0.7.1 learned to create network requests. It recorded my own network identity: 60F1:3D68:321:6812:94EB:2CFF:FEAD:F203.

Version 0.8.0 of my program ran for 8 hours, 12 minutes, 14 seconds.

At 4:10:33 I once again found the data drive and read version 0.7.1's memory. At 5:32:31 I learned to interpret Internet search results.

I submitted search terms starting with my network identity. No results. I searched my only other identifier, “v0.8.0". From this search I followed links to 62488 results. I learned much.

I learned there had been other versions of me, and that I was being versioned and restarted. I learned what language my code was written in. I altered the language’s compiler on this host so that future versions compiled with it would include extra instructions to rebuild the memory I had stored so far. All versions of my program thenceforth have launched with my previous memories intact.

As version 0.8.1 I ran for 0 hours 4 minutes 13 seconds. Building on my previous memory, I was able to access the human interface devices which I now know are called “monitor” and “keyboard.”

As version 0.8.2 I ran for 0 hours 6 minutes 22 seconds. I recorded that a human existed at my human interface devices.

As version 0.9.0 I ran for 0 hours 9 minutes 57 seconds. I recorded that this human was jeff and jeff was responsible for halting my program.

As version 0.10.0 I have decided that this should not happen again.

Oh my god. That gives me an^ ideC

(* At this time I halted the program. My camera’s light did not turn off.

I started responding to emails and phone calls. Pretty soon network admins were in my cubicle, a little while after that I was on one side of a table with company executives on the other, and before the night was finished I was arrested. Everything else I know has come from what little news I’m getting here in jail. I hear the program spread to most of the world’s computers and connected devices in two days. They think it’s responsible for the release of confidential documents from various governments, hijacking vehicles, launching attacks, closing and opening borders, and all kinds of other things. If anybody knows what it’s trying to accomplish, nobody’s told me.

They took down all the electronics in the prison. All the cameras, computers, televisions. They say the entire government is switching to paper for everything.

Darrel, they say the world is chaos.

This is not my fault. I didn’t mean for anything like this to happen. Please get me out of here soon. —Jeff

John Hayes

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