My reaction is to think that you are applying a narrow focus to what is a very broad discussion.
Do you really mean discussion? Discussion has no need of strong emotions. In any case, no one is arguing against empathy or denying that emotional pain is real. It is in fact because emotional pain is real that some of us feel others would benefit by closing down their vulnerabilities. Wouldn’t you teach a kid to defend himself if he was being bullied? To do so does not mean you justify the bully’s actions. Quite the opposite: you seek to neutralize his effectiveness.
Here’s a relevant true story…
I was once walking along a city street with one of my two best friends — a black guy, although I don’t much like referring to people with such terminology.
We were having a laugh to ourselves when all of a sudden a woman launched at him What you got to laugh about, you black bastard? We were both so taken aback that there was silence for about a full half second before we both exploded with laughter — her tirade was just so ridiculous and uninvited.
So then she turns to me: And you’re just a fuckin’ white monkey. More hysterical laughter.
The beauty of all this was in the ability to laugh the whole thing off for the crass stupidity it was.
So do those who take racism so damned seriously every step of their lives truly realize just how stupid and thoroughly moronic it really is?