Once upon a mattress

In some ways, I am as happy to get rid of this as I was to get rid of the Car Which Shall Not Be Named last fall:

FedEx told me they were delivering the new mattress today, and I’ve waited patiently all day. The new one is a mattress in a box, meaning it’s been compressed, coiled up, sealed in plastic and then packed into a box. When you open the packaging, the mattress (an ordinary coil spring mattress, not memory foam or anything like that) uncoils and expands to its original shape. It’s OK to sleep on tonight, but they warn you it may not reach full thickness for 24 hours. They also advise you to let it air out a bit in case of any factory smell.

I was shocked when the FedEx driver came to the door, at 2:30, and asked me to help her get the box from the truck to my door. She said she didn’t have a hand truck. Who sends a delivery driver out without a hand truck?

I was hesitant to buy a mattress sight-unseen — especially a bargain-priced one. But it seemed like a good deal, and the Walmart.com reviews were positive. I knew it couldn’t be any worse than what I was sleeping on, with its sunken valley, holes, taped-over springs and what have you.

So far, it looks and feels great. I haven’t flopped down on it yet; I figured I’d let it keep expanding. I bought new sheets and a new pillow in the store the other day, and I’ll put them on tonight.

Once the new mattress was in place, I struggled to get the floppy old mattress downstairs, snake it through the living room and the kitchen, and then down the porch steps, where I crammed it into my car. It was too long for my hatch to close, so I drove relatively slowly on the mile or two from my apartment to the convenience center, which is just south of town. Keep in mind that this was about 20 minutes or so after I’d signed for the package.

Guess who had to drive slowly behind me for that mile on State Route 82? The FedEx driver! I waited on her all day, so I guess it was OK for her to wait on me for a couple of minutes.

The handles on one side of the mattress had started to tear out while I was getting it downstairs, but they lasted long enough for me and the convenience center attendant to be able to flop it into the junked furniture bin.

I’d already been thinking about using part of my tax refund to buy a new mattress, and it was Warmth In Winter last weekend — two nights on a good bed at the Opryland Hotel — that sealed the deal. I’m glad I took the plunge.

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