On Shopping Carts and Civility

You’ve seen it before. Hell, based on my observations of people, you’ve probably done it before. Mindlessly shoved your shopping cart into the cart corral and walked away. That just seems to be who we are.

What do shopping carts have to do with civility?

Nothing.

And everything.

When you shove your cart into the corral, as the picture accompanying this article demonstrates, you create a little world of chaos for others.

The shoppers who come after you to deposit their carts may find that there is no room, even though there would be lots of room if everyone nested their carts neatly.

The employee who has to collect the carts must waste extra time in the hot sun to organize and nest the carts before he can bring them back to the store.

Perhaps the corral is overflowing and that causes a hazard to the vehicles that are driving through the lot.

So what?

What you did by randomly shoving your cart into the corral was selfish. It was selfish and showed a complete lack of empathy for your fellow man. You had no regard for how your actions may impact others, no care for the inconvenience you may have caused. You got yours. F**k everyone else.

Do I really care that much about cart corral etiquette? Well, yes I do. But it’s much bigger than that.

We have become a society that increasingly looks inward. We only think about ourselves. We have lost empathy for others on the most basic levels. Hell, if you can’t muster the minimal amount of empathy for a complete stranger by taking an extra two seconds to properly nest your cart in the corral, how are you going to summon the emotional depth that’s going to be required when someone really needs your compassion?

You may be saying “Aw, come on! Those are two totally different things!”

Are they?

Are they really?

Much like anything else in the world, compassion and civility require practice. Somehow we forget what we (hopefully) have learned as children, which is to be compassionate toward others. In order to get that back, in order to be human again, we need to practice it.

How? You do it in everyday interaction you have with others.

If you’re having a discussion or a debate with someone, don’t just simply try to win. Force yourself to look inside that other person’s mind and see things from their perspective, instead of just your own. If that’s difficult, then ask them directly about their feelings on the subject. Why do they feel that way? What motivates them to take their position?

If you’re walking down the street and see a homeless person, don’t be so quick to judge. Think about what may have put them in such a dire situation. Could they be a veteran with PTSD? Perhaps someone who lost his job, house, spouse and children to the scourge of addiction? Worse yet, did they lose their family to a drunk driver? Could they have a disability that prohibits them from working a job that would pay a living wage? Then ask yourself “could that happen to me, or to the people I love?”

Practice civility, some might call it ‘manners’, whenever you can. Hold a door for a person. Smile at a stranger. Pick something up for someone when they drop it. Call your mom.

And for the sake of humanity, think about how your actions may affect others, even if there is no one around you at that moment!

Will your partner feel unimportant if you finish the last of the ice cream without asking them if they would like to have it?

How will you affect the flow of traffic if you pull halfway into a turn lane, thereby blocking the road you’re trying to exit from?

Going back to the grocery store scenario, how will you inconvenience others if you block the aisle with cart, or choose to hold a reunion of several family members and friends in the middle of the bakery department?

Think, people!

Our lack of civility and compassion are excruciatingly evident in our political system. We are so divided that I frankly don’t see a way to come together again. We fight. We belittle each other. We even physically harm one another, all because we can’t summon the empathy we need to see the human being in front of us.

On this crowded planet we are more isolated than ever. Fight that urge to segregate yourself from others. Connect. Empathize! Show compassion!

If we don’t do this, we will increasingly become a population of uncaring strangers.

And our society cannot last under those circumstances.