Why I’m Naive on Purpose
- And how it brings peace to my life
Constantly worrying about what can go wrong, being suspicious about people, always looking out for alarming signs is tiring and it makes your days stressful, unhappy.
Let your worries go, trust others and stop anticipating bad things to happen!
It will bring you peace, you will feel more balanced, happier and your relationships will become easier.
When I moved to Barcelona, I got the same advice from at least 15 friends:
Be cautious all the time.
They warned me, because there’s a higher rate of pickpocketing, and they wanted me to stay safe, to make sure that my phone or wallet is not getting stolen.
But was I supposed to live in constant worry?
The reason I moved to this lovely city was to enjoy life to the fullest, take in as much sunshine as possible while being surrounded by amazing people, fiestas, good food, concerts, street parades.
I was not gonna ruin that by having a hidden thought in my mind, reminding me all the time to be suspicious.
I decided to stay naive: to not worry about what can go wrong and give everyone a chance.
In the end it all comes down to one thing: trust in our fellow human beings.
I noticed that many people start every relationship with skepticism.
They start with suspicion, they look for hidden intentions. They expect the worst, build walls around themselves, that the other person has to break down to gain their trust.
I work the opposite way: I assume the best in people.
Instead of expecting them to prove themselves to be trustworthy, I give my trust to them automatically.
I think the main reason why I can think like this is this simple:
If I wouldn’t do bad things (lie, cheat, trick, steal, you name it) to others, why would the others do them to me?
Most people mean well — I don’t want to punish them (and myself) for the mistakes of a few.
The Benefits of Trusting Others
1. It gives your mind a break
When you don’t worry constantly about how people could trick you, what could go wrong, your mind relaxes, it gets a break.
You can focus on other, more important things, and your mood improves.
Why?
Because your thoughts that were busy with worrying can focus on other things.
Moreover, worry and stress come with negative feelings, and if you replace them, your don’t want them in your life.
Some studies show, that trust can even add to one’s psychological well-being, reduce stress and improve energy levels and creativity.
2. It makes you look more trustworthy
“Liars think everybody lies.“ — Sarah Silverman
There have been numerous studies that showed that people trust us more, if we trust them too.
Staying transparent and showing intimacy encourages others that they can also open up for you, and that can bring you better business deals or new friendships, romantic relationships.
3. It makes you more approachable
When you’re constantly suspicious, your body language reflects your feelings.
You might not notice, but you send these signs:
I’m a reserved person, don’t approach me, it’s best if we avoid each other.
If you don’t trust others, that sends the message that maybe they shouldn’t trust you either.
If you’re an open person, without any prejudice, people will notice this change of behavior. They will like to be around you, as they know you don’t have a “hidden agenda”.
Eventually everyone prefers hanging around people who radiates positive vibes over fear and worries.
And not only in personal life! I think it’s just as important in the professional context.
For example, I tried to make my company’s “About” page show that our team is approachable, trustworthy. Not only for marketing purposes. But we really operate based on these values.
4. It improves relationships
Sustainable relationships are built on trust. If someone betrays you, it leaves a hole in you, but not only against the betrayal.
After events like this it can be hard to trust anybody, even if they come with genuinely good intentions.
But if you don’t open up, you don’t let others
You can’t build friendships and fruitful business relationships if you’re constantly looking for signs that your partner might trick you.
Don’t be stupid, protect yourself
You should trust people and stop worrying about what can go wrong, but only as long as it makes common sense.
Listen to your gut feelings!
- When it comes to serious situations, such as business, or buying a car/apartment, don’t just take someone’s word, make sure you have the necessary legal documents in place.
- If you’re in a packed bus / train, make sure your belongings are safe, your bags are closed.
- If you’re building up a relationship with a new person, don’t ignore the signs if they might be lying to you, or have different intentions than what you are expecting.
What I’m suggesting is not to stop taking obvious precautions, but to stop waiting for the worst to happen, stop worrying about what could go wrong.
How to do it?
I don’t think there was a specific moment when I decided to be like this. It just always felt right to give everyone a chance, to believe that people are genuinely good.
I also know that for some, who was disappointed in others many times, it might be difficult to trust everyone.
But here’s a question, you should ask yourself all the time: why would the other person trick you / lie to you?
Don’t forget the mantra: Most people mean well.
Opening up to others and trusting people might be difficult at first, but it still worths trying as it can bring a great improvement to your life.
If you liked my article, please clap like this happy avocado (you can clap up to 50 times 😱) so it reaches other people too.
