Aspiring Pastor Claims Cold Medicine Made Him Murder His Wife

Aspiring Pastor Claims Cold Medicine Made Him Murder His Wife: In a dramatic 911 call, Matthew Phelps, a 27-year-old aspiring evangelist, told police that the cold medicine he took to help him sleep was at fault for his blacking out and murdering his wife.

At the risk of sounding judgmental, I’ve always felt that Christianity and cough medicine just don’t mix very well. On the other hand, who among us hasn’t committed a felony after taking cold medicine? Now the question remains, if President Trump goes ahead and nukes North Korea, will he blame it on nighttime cough medicine?

Church officials visited Phelps and flatly warned him that a stunt like this comes damned close to disqualifying him as a pastor. You have to wonder how good of an evangelist he would have been anyway if he’s not blaming minorities, gays, or immigrants for his troubles. Church leaders say no matter how wrong what he did was, at least he’s not some LGBTQ going around trying to use public restrooms.

All I can say is, its a good thing he didn’t combine the NyQuil with Twinkies, or there’d likely be bodies all over the place. In response to the incident, some are demanding a ban on all medicines like NyQuil, but my feeling is — if we ban NyQuil, only the bad guys will be taking NyQuil. A spokesperson for NyQuil says they believe that there’s a very good possibility that instead of NyQuil, he may have mistakenly taken the bootleg product NyKill. One thing’s for sure, it sounds like he had a real killer cough.

Like what you read? Give Johnny Robish a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.