Recent Mystery Signal From Space Has Scientists Baffled

Recent Mystery Signal From Space Has Scientists Baffled: A new mystery signal from deep space has been detected using the Parkes radio telescope in Australia, leaving scientists baffled as to where it came from and what caused it. While NASA was unable to fully translate the signal, its seemed to be saying something to the effect of “Earthlings, if you get this in time — please don’t vote for that big fat, lying, narcissistic, lunatic bastard Trump.”

Study Shows Everything We Know About Salt May Be Wrong: New studies conducted on Russian cosmonauts suggest that — contrary to common belief — salt doesn’t really make you thirsty and it could actually have beneficial effects including burning body fat. Scientists say going forward, anyone worth their salt will need to know this.

Study Finds Americans Not Eating Out Anymore: More than half of all Americans say they’ve not gone out to eat in the past year, in what may be one of the clearest reflections yet of how the depressed economy is restricting choices for consumers. No kidding! About the only way I can afford to eat out these days would be if I eat out of a garbage can.

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