Study Finds Universe Expanding 8% Faster Than Previously Believed

Study Finds Universe Expanding 8% Faster Than Previously Believed: According to a new study, data is showing that the universe is expanding about 8% faster than predicted. Gee, was it something I said? Things are getting pretty serious when even the universe seems to be saying “I need my space.”

Stephen Hawking Calls Trump a Demagogue: Famed British scientist Stephen Hawking says he doesn’t understand how Donald Trump has gotten as far as he has, calling him “a demagogue who seems to appeal to the lowest common denominator.” The trouble is, the “lowest common denominator” is a yuuuuuge demographic in this country. On a positive note, no backlash against Hawking is expected given the fact that its extremely unlikely anyone in the Trump camp has any idea who Stephen Hawking is.

Data Shows Concussions On the Rise in the NFL: According to new data, NFL players endured 182 reported concussions in regular-season games this past season, a 58% rise over the previous year and the highest number in four years of record keeping. Experts close to the game say its almost enough to make your head spin. As a counter measure, an NRA spokesperson suggested teams consider just shooting opponents instead of tackling them.

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