Trump Gives Bizarre Speech to Attendees of 2017 Boy Scout Jamboree
Trump Gives Bizarre Speech to Attendees of 2017 Boy Scout Jamboree: President Donald Trump gave an absolutely bizarre speech at the 2017 Boy Scout Jamboree, regaling the youngsters with tales of attending cocktail get-togethers with “hot” guests and playboy industrialists, sharing nightlife tips, bragging about his election win and leading the scouts in a massive boo for ex-President Barack Obama. Gee, I can hardly wait to hear what he plans to tell the Girl Scouts. About the only thing missing from the speech were hints about how scouts should consider buying their merit badges instead of going through all that stupid crap to get them. After all, everyone knows doing the work and actually earning your rewards is for suckers.

Michael Phelps Races a Great White Shark: As part of Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, Olympic great Michael Phelps raced a simulated great white shark over a 100m course, finishing just two seconds slower than the simulated great white. Oh for God’s sake, what’ll they think of next? Trump and Steve Bannon racing a great white supremacist?

Heavy Drinking Will Kill 63,000 Over Next Five Years: Doctors in the UK warn that nearly 63,000 people in that country will die over the next five years from liver problems linked to heavy drinking. In response, Trump officials are urging any Americans who may be considered heavy drinkers — not to move to England.

