World’s First Head Transplant Scheduled for December

World’s First Head Transplant Scheduled for December: The world’s first head transplant will be performed in December, led by Italian neurosurgeon Sergio Canavero on a Russian man who is suffering from a rare and fatal form of spinal muscular atrophy. Prior to surgery. the man’s head will be cooled down to 5 degrees Fahrenheit and then reattached to a donated, brain-dead body.

Doctors were originally going to wait until early next year to perform the operation, but wanted to get a head start. That said, they shouldn’t just go Russian into this. Let’s hope cooler heads prevail — after all, this poor guy’s really sticking his neck out here. Doctor’s shouldn’t be doing a complicated and dangerous surgery like this just because they’re trying to get a head in their profession.

Say what you will, but to me — the most exciting implication about a surgery like this is that someone could fart right out loud in the middle of a huge crowd and when everyone turns around and gives you a look, you could look them right square in the eye and honestly say “hey, that wasn’t me!”

Personally, if I were in this situation, I think I’d have a tough time deciding whether I wanted a new head or a new body. I guess it would all depend on who’s gonna get the bill — the head or the body. Guess its kind of like “heads I win, tails you lose.” Frankly, I’m just trying to wrap my mind around all this.

Anyway, as a precaution, doctors are requesting the man refrain from going to comedy shows for the first year after surgery, just to prevent the possibility of him laughing his head off. Is it just me or does this seem like a surgery that would be covered under the new Republican healthcare plan? Guess its time to give Ben Carson a call.