“I’m probably fat but you can’t fucking tell lol!”

Love comes in all different shapes and sizes. Some people like thin chicks. Some people like fat chicks. Some like that weird perfect sweet spot in the middle often describe as “chubby” or “curvy”.

Whatever your kink there’s a great way of figuring out if someone meets that body shape. It’s called a photograph and the Internet is fucking great at distributing them. Facebook built a billion dollar business out of that shit. Rather than thousand vague words that mislead and confuse (if you describe yourself as “full figured” you’re fat) a single picture will tell all that you need to know.

Or it would had the person who’d taken not gone out of their way to hide the very thing you’re trying to figure out. We all like to pretend that love runs deep but it only gets that deep when you’ve found someone who at first glance you want to get deep with.

Just a basic human fact of finding out if you want to be with someone is do you find them fuckable. And to help speed that up the least you could do is provide a serviceable body shot. Nothing special, just something that gives a representative idea of your silhouette. Not five fucking close up head shots of you grinning coyly and trying to make your tits look big enough to cover your gut.

I get it. Being overweight can be embarrassing. But like genital warts, derangement and lolli fetishes it’s kind of a thing that you should be open about lest you spoil your first date with out of band expectations. It isn’t hard either. Just stop pretending that your breasts stick out further than your belly.

What are you thinking the end result will be? That the guy you’ve lured in is going to pleasantly surprised that you are considerably less attractive in person? That your winning personality of misleading and self loathing will mask your portly nature? The most unattractive thing anyone has ever done in front of me was a large girl proclaim how she was trying to get back to the weight she was in her photo… whilst desperately shoveling pizza in to her mouth.

Just stop. Take a photo of you being large. The ones who like large woman will message you. The ones who don’t like large woman will send you torrents of abuse.