Hello inner voice, are you there?
How to listen to your inner voice when everyone around you is pulling you different directions.
The other day at church a lady asked me a mass of questions concerning my major, career, and life aspirations, before insisting that I pursue a masters in Business. I’m a Fine Arts graduate. An accomplished dual major with degrees in English Literature and Creative Writing & Publishing. I have zero interests in business, yet I was told that I should pursue a Masters because it would be “beneficial” for me (I assume financially). I nodded with a familiar sense of annoyance and a forced smile.
She advised me that she was once was like me, once afraid that she as an African American women was incompetent and should have chosen a business or engineering career path. Though her story had an important message…, it wasn’t MY story. I can’t relate to her experience, because I never shied away from business or engineering from feelings of incompetence. I chose my major because I love literature, I love writing, and have had a deep passion for storytelling all my life in spite of it not being the straightest shot to money or fame. Though she meant well, she and many others in my life have been pulling and tugging me in different, confusing directions since the moment I flipped my graduation tassel.
Whether you’re fresh out of college, fresh into your twenties, or just someone without the next 50 years of your life planned out, this is the time when everyone wants to give you their secret formula on maneuvering through life. Trust me, they care about you and mean well…and it’s okay to absorb as much advice as you’re given, but you must have your own sense of direction. You must strengthen your inner voice that won’t necessarily tell you how to get where you wanna go, but if you even want to get there in the first place.
People will impose their fears, their aspirations, their idea of life on you but you are not them. These people will be your mothers, fathers, aunts and uncles, people at church, friends from school and though it’s perfectly okay to take advice from those who walked a similar path, remember that anything that drives you from your heart, anything that seems like the practical route (the easy way out) should be avoided.
So how are some ways we can listen to our inner voice?
- First ask your inner voice what do you want to do? Like really want to do? What feels right? Then ask yourself what steps you need to take to get there. Creating steps will give you a sense of security in your goals.
- Have a go-to community for sound advice.These are people who respect your dreams and aspirations, might even share similar interest, and most importantly are trustworthy.
- Know when to take advice! Even with those you seek it from. Remember, advice is just recommendations…you never have to do it.
- Practice affirmation. Intentional or not, many will try to stir you from your inner voice and sometimes it’s hard to hear it amongst various inputs of how you should go about your life, but you must learn to stay true to yourself. You may not always know exactly what you want, but you sure know what you don’t want. Try being upright in conversations with others about your dreams. Say “I am a artist, writer, model, etc, instead of “I want to be.” Respectfully decline advice if you have to… “That’s not really something I want do, but thank you for the advice!”. If you’re not for sure, be honest about it…“I’m actually not for sure what I want to do at the moment, but I’m figuring it out!”
- Allow yourself progress
It’s okay to not have everything figured out. There’s so much life ahead and so many journeys to take. You decide tomorrow you want to be a photographer, next week you want to pursue modeling, scrap it all and decide maybe being a writer is what you really want to be and that’s okay! You need time to develop. Become the person you want to be on your time and don’t waste a second being someone’s else ideal of you. Listen to your inner voice. If you’re not secure in your dreams, you’ll get lost seeking approval from others.
