Faith, Doubt and Certainty
Or what is faith really?
I. When I was 7 or 8 years old, I prayed to “accept Jesus into my heart” every Sunday. If one had to believe in Jesus to be saved from Hell (a place that by all accounts sounded like a bad place to be), and one wanted to be saved from Hell (because of course), then it was wise to make sure that one covered all of their bases so as to not go to Hell. Which, to my thinking, meant that I needed to make sure that I really had accepted Jesus into my heart.
I’m not sure how many times I’ve told God that I’m a sinner, thanked Jesus for dying on the cross for me, and asked Him to please take up residence in my body, but I certainly would have made one of the widows in Luke’s gospel proud (she was quite persistent).
As I continued to pester Jesus to live inside of me, I had one nagging worry. I was concerned that God, who knew of my many and perpetual invitations to his Son, would actually start to count them against me. Maybe God saw these prayers as proof that I didn’t really believe in Jesus and hadn’t really meant it when I asked Him into my heart. I concluded that God probably counted every other invitation as a legit request (makes sense), and I hoped that if I died, it would fall after a prayer that succeeded.
The simple truth was that I was worried about my certainty, or rather my lack thereof. Specifically, I was worried that my belief in Jesus wasn’t strong enough to be on let onto God’s team.
II. Proverbs sound true, even when they are not. One such proverb comes from a probably wonderful man named Father Tom, and was made famous through the capable pen of Anne Lamott, who sayeth, “the opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty.”
First, allow me to be charitable. Sister Lamott and Father Tom are saying something important here, which is that doubt and faith are not mutually exclusive. This seems, at least to me, to be obviously true, and something that we should not forget. I am glad that Father Tom said it, and that Anne Lamott relayed it to us.
If one is struggling with doubt, then this idea is like cool water. It soothes our anxiety when we can’t shake the suspicion that our doubt has put us outside of the camp and at odds with a God who demands certain belief. The trouble is not that she mitigates our anxiety about doubt (I am grateful for that), but only that she picks the wrong enemy for faith.
III. In the book of Hebrews, the writer tells us that faith is having assurance of things ‘unseen’ and confidence in what we ‘hope for’ (Heb. 11). This assurance and hope are then concretely shown in actions which demonstrate trust in this unseen reality (like Abraham moving to a new land per God’s command and promise).
In this formula, faith is trusting in something that isn’t seen. Why is it that by faith we believe that God created the world? Because we were not there. Certainty is not the enemy of faith, sight is.
Does this mean that doubt cannot coexist with faith? I think not. I’m assuming that doubt merely means not being certain (to one degree or another) of God’s promises and self-revelation. If you read the story of Abraham, he doesn’t appear at all certain that God will do what God says. He even girds up his loins (to use the biblical parlance) and asks God to double down on his promises to him, which God does in dramatic fashion (Gen. 15).
What we do see in Abraham is a willingness to act on what God has said, even when it is predicated on a future reality that is unseen and unproven. Acting on unseen realities can coincide with certainty or doubt, because the action resides in the will to act, not on the strength of cognitive assent to promised the outcome. Is it easier to act on faith (on what is unseen) if you are certain of the outcome? Of course it is. But a decision to follow God even when you’re unsure is still faith, and maybe even of a more admirable stripe.
IV. Faith is something like following Google Maps. Think about when you’re driving to somewhere you’ve never been, and you find yourself diligently obeying what Google tells you. Google says turn right here and you turn right. Google says that your exit is in 1000 feet and you’re getting in the exit lane.
If you’ll notice, you almost certainly will follow Google even if you don’t wholly believe it’s leading you in the right direction. Even, in other words, if you doubt. Why? Because Google maps is generally trustworthy. Has it led people astray? It has indeed. But we trust that the aggregate road data and the sheer mystery of the cloud (or whatever) knows better than we know.
As Christians, we believe Jesus will never lead us over a cliff or into a lake. Even if we doubt. Even if we are not sure where we are going. Even if we think that Jesus may have the wrong of it this time. Faith is an orientation to hope in, and act on, the promises of God, revealed in Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, whether we are certain about them or not.
