Some of the truth—only lightly varnished! — Hello! My name is John Welford, although I had a different one when I started out. A Short(-ish) Autobiography I was born as Derek Clayton in August 1952 in Falkirk, Scotland. However, my birth was far from intended, with my natural father not being my mother’s husband, so it was a case of…

His invention was demonstrated in 1804 but later engineers developed it into something truly workable — The credit for inventing the first workable steam rail locomotive must go to Richard Trevithick (1771–1833), but that is not to say that he was responsible for all the elements that comprise a rail loco, or that his invention was particularly successful. However, within the long history of the steam…

A painting that conveys a sense of bustle and movement — Edgar Degas (1834–1917) was born in Paris. As the son of a wealthy banker he was free to paint without having to worry about making an income from his art. He was not particularly sociable, being regarded by his contemporaries as being a somewhat forbidding character. Despite having sympathies with…

A short poem by England’s “peasant poet” that bears comparison with a much better-known “mouse” poem by Scotland’s Robert Burns — John Clare (1793–1864) is known as the “peasant poet” of England (Northamptonshire) and is often held in comparison with the better-known peasant poet of Scotland, namely Robert Burns. However, whereas Burns had acquired a reasonable level of education and could hold his own with the literary establishment of his day…

There has to be a way for a harassed husband to get his own back — “Does my bum look big in this?” The temptation to reply “Your bum would look big in anything, my dear” was nobly resisted, but only just. Shopping was never Derek’s favourite occupation, and any faint enthusiasm he might have had disappeared completely when he was forced to accompany his wife…

Heads had rolled as his father King Henry VIII did everything he could to produce a male heir, but Edward died at 15 years old after a 6-year reign — Born in 1537, the son of King Henry VIII and Jane Seymour, Edward was only nine years old when his father died in 1547. Effective power was exercised firstly by Edward’s maternal uncle Edward Seymour, Earl of Somerset, and then by John Dudley, Duke of Northumberland.

It appears that this odd-looking animal has changed very little over the past 100 million years — The aardvark is a strange-looking creature — to us, that is, no doubt it looks perfectly normal to other aardvarks. The name is Afrikaans for “earth pig”, but it is certainly not a pig despite some superficial resemblances. …

Is it time for an “Even Newer Testament” to be added? — What is the Bible? A collection of books, divided into two “Testaments” that describe the workings of God in the World, before and after the coming of Christ. But these books are not the only ones ever written about which this could be said. Even at the time of the…

A poem in the mock-heroic tradition that shows how absurd people can become in the face of mild adversity — “Rain” is a 1995 poem by Sean O’Brien (born 1952), a British poet who is known for combining political and social comment with humour, lyricism and interesting uses of rhythm. …