Stream of unconsciousness

In time, when you’ll be listening to me talk,

Over your shoulder to another,

Would it be anger

Or plain old shock?

Will you wonder why I dared to speak when I vowed silence forever?

Will you gape at the surprise that my undying abilities carry?

To lie about my abilities,

What I can and cannot do;

You can never tell

Anybody

Our trust you wouldn’t dispel.

Our secrets you’d keep safe now, wouldn’t you?

Those that you buried deep within my subconscious mind.

Even if I shock you or deservingly mock you,

I trust you

Will never subject me to betrayal of any kind.

I’m aware of only one thing-

You’re simply guilty of reminding

Yourself of the lies you have to tell

A painful routine of made up sentences you made me a part of

Repeating after you as you repeated after me,

You did this to me.

You grabbed my hand and slapped me bloody

Into a dream, a state of hypnosis really

You swore into my soul, the colours of your goal.

You made me want the river bank when I was happy with the sea-shore

You made me love a boy inside a man I was forced to know.

So now, when you’ve possessed, a part of me entirely

Don’t wonder how, at times, you fail to understand me,

You can buy the remote but no one sells control

Over colours that bleed deep into the rivers of somebody’s soul

Staining it,

With shades of dark and rugged walls

Training it,

To grow brickier still, to stand broad and stand tall.

So now I rise

So high-

My feet need no elevation.

You stand beside me,

Shadowed-

Seeking consolation.

Around you, you look, trying not to see, directly

As I whisper, another lie, to another liar guy

You let a lying smile out while you pretend you’re letting me.

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