Joke Pearl Oyebamiji
3 min readFeb 15, 2022

I’ve Been Married For A Year… Reflections

#1stWeddingAnniversary ( Jan 30th 2022)

I was never keen about marriage.

My parent’s marriage didn’t make marriage look like something I’d aspired for.

I wondered why a woman had to endure untold suffering, stifle her dreams, and endure bulls*t, all in the name of being married.

I carried this mindset until I came across few people who had awesome marriages.

No, they didn’t just look happy…

They were actually happy successful couples…

Then I searched the scriptures, and my eyes popped open…

I saw God’s original intention for marriage…

It was actually possible to be married, and fulfill purpose, and be happy….

I wanted that…

And God made it happen for me. I met Ese Gbadagri.

To be honest, I didn’t think I’d want to spend the rest of my life with him when we first met.

But like an onion, I got to see beautiful layers of him as we spent time together.

A great marriage requires work, but it is possible!

I took this picture on the day I met my husband.

11 years ago…

But i recall that eventful day so vividly, like it was yesterday…

My room mate in school invited me to a get together that her fellowship was holding.

It was going to hold at the beach.

There was going to be free food.

‘Did you say free food? Of course I’m coming!’

Then the day of the get-together came.

We had such a great time, and just as we were about to leave the beach, I saw one of the fellowship brothers walking towards me.

He was tall, had grey hair, sleek muscles, nicely-sculpted face, and had a sheepish grin plastered on his face.

‘Hmnn…. this brother is not bad o. Imagine if we had babies together, they will be soooo cute.’

I was already in Lala land, even before bro said the first hello.

Then he opened his mouth, and the first thing that came out was….

Hi, you always carry a big black backpack around campus. You might get back pain.’

‘Huh? These church brothers sef. Is this supposed to be a compliment or what? Park well abeg’

He was immediately banished to friend zone in my mind.

Little did I know that I was in for the fiercest pursuing of my life.

The church brother just wouldn’t take no for an answer.

And here we are today, 11 years later, celebrating our 1st wedding anniversary.

Shakara don end😄

It’s the little things he does…

I was telling him the other day about how pregnancy made me gain so much weight.

I went from 53kg to 70kg!

Then he looked at me and said…

‘Your breasts and butts are fuller now, because of the pregnancy. Haven’t you always wanted bigger ass and butt?’

Lol…

I knew he was just trying to take my mind off the weight, but it was so kind of him to see the positive side of things.

I really really like this man I got married to.

Happy anniversary baby❤️

Joke Pearl Oyebamiji

When i search for stuffs online, I hardly see answers from people like me — a woman of colour. Is my race not documenting enough? Attempting to fill in the gap.