Reflections of a Graduating College Student

Hi there. I haven’t written in awhile well because a lot of things have been happening lately. Anyway, enough of the excuses hope you enjoy this quick read! Solid to promise!

I’m writing today because I’ve been thinking about what it means for me to be a graduating student. After reflecting on so many ideas, I’ve picked the 5 most significant key thoughts I’ve had.

1. Senioritis is real

One reason I haven’t written in a while is senioritis. Senioritis, for all of you who do not know, is that phase in your college life when all you’d like to do is occupy your time with anything other than studying because of the mere fact that you feel closer to the end of a particular stage in your academic journey. Tinatamad na ako kasi iyon na lang lagi ang ginagawa ko sa school at lagi pa akong nase-stress. Parang oras na ata para magpahinga at mag-relax.(Sorry mom and dad, if you are reading this. Mag-aaral na po ako after ko isulat ‘to, promise)

2. Doing more new shit

One more thing I’ve observed about being a graduating student is my openness to trying out new shit. Yes shit. Here are some things I’ve tried out:

⁃ Finally enrolled myself into some Muay Thai sessions. These have helped me cope a lot, because I’ve always felt like I had a few pent-up emotions.

⁃ Devoted some time into writing. (Ayan, feeling writer na tuloy ako ngayon)

⁃ Begun reading more books.

⁃ I’ve actually hosted a talk!? (Credits to Bea Pitargue for hosting us up for a talk that we were scared shitless to do)

⁃ Finally joined a few case competitions.

⁃ Crossing out going to my first concert on my bucket list!

⁃ Joined 2 new orgs this year.

⁃ Created a YouTube channel with my brother which has been a dream when we were children

All these came at a cost though; I had to say no to joining a few other organizations and coming to some spontaneous hangouts.

But I guess my biggest insight at the heart of all this is that there is little to no fear when it comes to trying out things at this point in my college life.

I’ve begun to see more of what I want to do and I’ve refused to do things that I feel are not beneficial for me.

Yet I’ve also wondered — What if I had the courage and the tenacity to face every single day of my life like this? Am I ready to say yes to these things without fear?

WHAT IF??

3. Appreciating friendships

Every time I see a friend or acquaintance, I really, really feel (and legit, I really feel this) as if I’m seeing them for the first time… and the last time.

Seeing my friends at the cafeteria always makes me feel like a little freshman again. Yet at the same time, it feels like we’ve grown so old and it won’t be long until it’s all over. Trust me: a year will be fast. Tingnan mo, “ber-months” na nga eh.

At the end of it all, we will have to go separate paths. Some might choose to go abroad, some will go back to the province, and hindi na magtatagal, nakakalat na kaming lahat.

At the same time though, I love how I treasure them even more, and since alam kong ‘di ko na silang makikita lahat, I cherish every moment talking to them.

Minsan nga, I try to make my relationships with them even deeper by asking the deeper questions. Kasi kung huling beses mo na lang sila makikita, bakit ‘di mo pa tanungin kung sino ang crush nila?!

4. Scared for the future

To anyone who asks the question “what do you want to do after college?”�, my answer will be the very same thing I’ve always said since my days as a high school freshman:

I have no idea.

Sometimes I feel ashamed to admit it, especially to the adults.

And I feel scared, because it feels like everyone has a plan, and these people know what to do. If you are one of them, I envy you. You already know what to do.

Will I study abroad? Will I work? Will I take a break? Where will I go? Will I live with my parents?

There are so many questions that I want to answer, but I just can’t.

Well at least not yet.

It just makes me want to stay in school a bit longer until I figure it out.

5. Excited because there’s a lot more to life, out of the institutions

I really have a thing against ending things on a sad note, so here’s one last thing I’ve come to realize.

Now that I’m graduating, I’ll finally be out of the institutions that shackle me. Once we’re out of here, we can finally plot our own courses in life. There are lot of opportunities out there in the real world, and I’m excited because it’s a big, big world out there and I’m sure we’re going to be doing a lot of really great things.

I know that I can make a good change. Even if I don’t know what what change I’ll be bringing about yet, I just know I can. And I’m sure you know that deep inside, you can too.

Okay tara game, balik na ako sa inaaral ko baka makita pa ng nanay ko at groupmates ko sa thesis ‘to lagot ako.

CREDITS to : Adrian Goh for helping me edit this story. Thank you my wonderful friend.

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