Progress not perfection

However long it has been since I last wrote my forced confession/thoughts, my time has gone by quickly. It feels like a roller coaster ride. Sometimes I feel okay and I want to talk to people or do some social activities and sometimes, I just don’t give two shits about anyone or anything.

I am convinced that this is my medication at work, making me a fucking zombie of sorts. I have recently lowered my dose of my anti-psychotic medicine and I think we are headed in the right direction. I hope.

The main thing that frustrates me is that I cannot seem to give a shit about anything. This how most days are for me. Even small talk with different people requires tremendous efforts from my side. With that being said, I hope that I can start becoming a little more alive. I don’t know if it’s where I live now, but I can’t feel that nice morning feeling when you wake up. Like the cold air on your face and precipitation.

I am still out of focus and it annoys the living shit out of me. I hope that this can pass as most things usually do.

Till next time..

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